You know the type… They walk into a room like they’ve just been personally delivered by the heavens. 👑 Head in the clouds. Ego through the roof. Self-awareness somewhere in another postcode. 😂 And then, when someone actually shows an interest in them: “I can’t believe they want to go out with ME!” Darling… Have… Read More 😂 WHEN SOMEONE THINKS THEY’RE GOD’S GIFT… BUT FORGOT TO CHECK THE RECEIPT
The author reflects humorously on her unconventional past relationship, contrasting her first husband’s attractiveness with her second’s physical mismatches. She acknowledges that attraction can extend beyond appearance, driven by emotional needs and circumstances. Ultimately, she returns to her original type, illustrating how personal preferences can resurface after significant experiences.… Read More “What Did You See in Him?” — Just Look at the Family Photo!
The lengths a mother will go to when she hasn’t seen her children for two years I have a confession to make. Looking back, I have to laugh. When I got together with my ex, there was a very important detail he apparently failed to notice. I wasn’t actually there because I was particularly interested… Read More Hands Up: I Wasn’t Actually Looking for a Boyfriend — I Was Looking for My Children
There can come a point after an abusive or deeply controlling relationship when something inside you changes. You think about the person who once occupied so much of your emotional world — and you realise something has happened. You cannot seem to remember what you ever found so wonderful about them. The memories that once… Read More When You Can’t Remember Anything Good Anymore: When Love Turns to Disgust After Abuse
Explore the psychology of hidden vindictiveness, moral superiority, impression management and indirect retaliation, and how to recognise harmful patterns without assuming motives.… Read More Covert Vindictiveness: When Someone Pretends to Have Integrity but Retaliates in Private
Explore how conditional affection, financial withholding and public generosity alongside private neglect can affect self-worth, emotional safety and recovery from controlling relationships.… Read More The Bare Minimum: When Love, Affection, Generosity and Even Basic Kindness Become Transactions
An exploration of coercive control, psychological trauma, survival and the devastating consequences of having your autonomy taken away. Trauma & Emotional Abuse | Neuroscience & Emotional Regulation | Relationships & Recovery Dorothy Vallens, the lounge singer played by Isabella Rossellini in David Lynch’s Blue Velvet, is one of cinema’s haunting portrayals of a woman trapped in… Read More Dorothy Vallens in Blue Velvet: When Violence, Control and Fear Become Entangled with Desire
Secondary gains refer to the indirect benefits someone may experience from trauma, such as avoiding responsibilities or receiving support, which can complicate recovery. While these behaviors may seem beneficial, they often stem from a need for safety or emotional relief rather than manipulation. Therapy should focus on understanding the underlying needs these behaviors fulfill to promote healthy changes.… Read More Secondary Gains in Trauma Treatment: Understanding the Hidden Benefits of Staying Stuck
Dreams of abusive ex-partners can evoke panic and feelings of helplessness, often mirroring past trauma of entrapment and emotional abuse. These nightmares reflect the brain’s processing of danger and the lingering impact of coercive control. While waking reality differs, persistent fear may signify unresolved emotional connections, necessitating compassionate self-reassurance and potentially seeking therapeutic help.… Read More When You Wake Up Still Trying to Escape: The Neuroscience of Dreams After Emotional Abuse
Dishonest individuals often project their own behaviors onto others, assuming everyone acts similarly. This projection leads to a distorted moral double standard, where they rationalize their dishonesty while condemning others for the same actions. Distinguishing between healthy discernment and chronic suspicion is crucial, as suspicion can stem from past trauma rather than actual deceit.… Read More When suspicion reflects their own standards
