As my divorce and financial settlement approach, my priority is no longer trying to understand someone else’s behaviour.

My priority is my safety.

The car is being checked.

The security cameras are fully charged and ready.

Friends are keeping an eye out.

Family are checking in regularly.

I have relatives here in Spain.

I have a plan.

These are sensible precautions that help me feel prepared during what can be a stressful period.

The weeks leading up to separation, divorce, and financial settlement can be particularly difficult where there has already been a history of abuse, intimidation, or coercive control. It is a time when many survivors choose to increase their personal safety measures and remain vigilant.

Money can become another source of conflict.

When someone has consistently viewed money as power, control, or entitlement, disputes over finances can become highly emotional. That does not mean every financial dispute will lead to abusive behaviour, but it is one reason why many people choose to take practical steps to protect themselves.

Being prepared is not being paranoid.

It is being sensible.

It is recognising that your safety matters.

If you are leaving an abusive relationship, trust your instincts, follow professional advice, keep trusted people informed, and don’t be afraid to put your safety first.

You only get one life.

Protecting it is never an overreaction.