Discovering that someone close to you has a deeply troubling or criminal past, especially involving exploitation or abuse, can be profoundly destabilizing. Seeking help and therapy afterward is critical for processing trauma, reclaiming a sense of safety, and rebuilding your life. Here’s a structured guide:

---

1. Acknowledge Your Emotional Reality

• Allow yourself to feel shock, anger, betrayal, grief, and fear without judgment.
• Understand that repeated revelations can cause cognitive dissonance, where your memories of the person conflict with new evidence.

---

2. Seek Professional Support

• Therapists / Counselors:
  • Look for those trained in trauma, abuse, or betrayal trauma.
  • Therapists can help process complex emotions, anxiety, and guilt.
• Psychiatrists:
  • If you experience intense anxiety, depression, or intrusive thoughts, a psychiatrist can assess whether temporary medication could help stabilize your mood.
• Specialized Support Groups:
  • Survivors of abuse or betrayal trauma groups offer validation and shared coping strategies.

---

3. Create a Safe Environment

• Limit contact with the person involved or any triggers associated with them.
• Remove reminders of the trauma from your immediate surroundings if they provoke distress.
• Establish healthy boundaries with family or friends who may minimize or dismiss your experience.

---

4. Coping Strategies

• Journaling: Write down your thoughts, fears, and emerging memories; it helps externalize emotions safely.
• Mindfulness & Meditation: Can help regulate stress and maintain emotional equilibrium.
• Physical Activity: Exercise reduces stress hormones and improves mood.
• Support Network: Maintain connections with people who validate your experience and provide emotional safety.

---

5. Processing Evidence Without Overwhelm

• If you have letters, messages, or other evidence:
  • Handle in small, manageable doses; don’t review everything at once.
  • Work with your therapist to process the evidence safely, reducing retraumatization.
  • Document objectively, separating emotional reaction from factual information.

---

6. Rebuilding Trust and Agency

• Understand that their actions are not your fault.
• Gradually rebuild your sense of trust in yourself and others.
• Focus on activities and relationships that restore safety, autonomy, and confidence.

---

7. Optional: Trauma-Informed Legal Support

• If you plan to report the behavior:
  • A trauma-informed lawyer or advocate can help you navigate legal processes without exacerbating emotional distress.
  • They can also help protect your mental health during investigations.

---