Secondary Gains in Trauma Treatment: Understanding the Hidden Benefits of Staying Stuck

Secondary gains refer to the indirect benefits someone may experience from trauma, such as avoiding responsibilities or receiving support, which can complicate recovery. While these behaviors may seem beneficial, they often stem from a need for safety or emotional relief rather than manipulation. Therapy should focus on understanding the underlying needs these behaviors fulfill to promote healthy changes.… Read More Secondary Gains in Trauma Treatment: Understanding the Hidden Benefits of Staying Stuck

Evidence-Based Treatments for Trauma and Complex PTSD

There are several evidence-based approaches to treating trauma. The most appropriate treatment depends on the type of trauma, whether the danger has ended, the person’s symptoms, and whether the trauma was single-event or prolonged/complex. Main treatments for trauma Helps identify and change trauma-related thoughts, beliefs and behaviours. Often used for PTSD, anxiety and avoidance. Uses bilateral… Read More Evidence-Based Treatments for Trauma and Complex PTSD

💔 Can You Love Someone with Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) — Especially If They’re Violent?

The honest and evidence-based answer is: You can love someone with ASPD, but that love may not be emotionally or physically safe — especially if violence is involved.And safety, not love, must come first. 🧠 What is ASPD? Antisocial Personality Disorder is a serious and often misunderstood condition characterized by: A pervasive pattern of disregard for… Read More 💔 Can You Love Someone with Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) — Especially If They’re Violent?

Generational Trauma, Addiction & Abuse

I have a particular interest in the complex relationship between generational trauma, addiction, emotional abuse and dysfunctional family patterns. Trauma does not always begin with the person seeking support. Sometimes the patterns we are struggling with today have developed within a family over many years or even generations. Children can grow up learning relationship patterns, emotional… Read More Generational Trauma, Addiction & Abuse

Main treatments for trauma

There are several evidence-based approaches to treating trauma. The most appropriate treatment depends on the type of trauma, whether the danger has ended, the person’s symptoms, and whether the trauma was single-event or prolonged/complex. Main treatments for trauma Helps identify and change trauma-related thoughts, beliefs and behaviours. Often used for PTSD, anxiety and avoidance. Uses bilateral… Read More Main treatments for trauma

Trauma is not defined only by what happened

Trauma is not defined only by what happened; it also involves how the nervous system and mind respond to what happened. Different types of trauma Results from a single, overwhelming event. Examples: assault, serious accident, sudden bereavement, natural disaster, violent attack. Develops from repeated or ongoing exposure to threatening or harmful experiences. Examples: prolonged domestic… Read More Trauma is not defined only by what happened

“You Look Different”: The Neuroscience of Finally Feeling Safe

One of the most unexpected parts of healing has not been what I see in myself, but what other people see in me. Recently, friends, family, and even people I haven’t seen for a while have been making similar comments. “You look so much more relaxed.” “You seem more confident.” “You’re glowing.” “You smile so… Read More “You Look Different”: The Neuroscience of Finally Feeling Safe

When Abuse Is Minimized: The Hidden Psychological Harm

Trauma can leave survivors questioning their own memories, doubting their judgement, and wondering whether what they experienced was “bad enough” to matter. This self-doubt is often the result of years of gaslighting, manipulation, and coercive control, where the perpetrator repeatedly distorts reality until the survivor begins to mistrust their own thoughts, feelings, and experiences. The psychological… Read More When Abuse Is Minimized: The Hidden Psychological Harm