Let’s be honest:
For the last three decades, life had me scurrying around like a pigeon in a shopping mall — chasing emotional breadcrumbs tossed out by people who couldn’t even spell “consistency,” let alone offer it.
A crumb here.
A crumb there.
A tiny compliment once every leap year.
A text message that looked like affection but was actually just:
“u ok?”
And there I was — grateful.
Smiling.
Tail wagging (metaphorically… mostly).
Thinking:
“Wow, a crumb!! I must be SPECIAL.”
Thirty Years of Crumb Economics
I became a Michelin-star chef of excuses:
- “He’s just busy.”
- “He’s just tired.”
- “He’s not great with emotions.”
- “He shows love in… um… mysterious ways?”
No, Linda.
He showed love the same way some restaurants show portion sizes — WITH A MAGNIFYING GLASS.
I was surviving on emotional tapas — and not even the good kind.
More like stale bread bits you’d brush off the table.
Then One Day… Everything Changed
One morning I woke up, stretched, looked in the mirror and said:
“ABSOLUTELY NOT.”
Something snapped.
Maybe it was wisdom.
Maybe it was finally hitting my limit.
Maybe it was a full neurological recalibration brought on by the realisation that I deserved more than the emotional equivalent of a crouton.
Either way, I decided:
No more crumbs.
I want the whole damn meal.
Starter, main, dessert, AND the sparkling water.”
And Then… The Full Package Arrived
Not the “half-present-half-absent” type.
Not the “text once a week” type.
Not the “emotionally constipated” type.
I mean THE FULL PACKAGE.
Consistency.
Warmth.
Laughter.
Respect.
Effort.
Actual presence — not the hologram version I’d been dating for years.
The kind of person who actually shows up.
I nearly fainted.
My nervous system didn’t know what to do.
It was like:
“Wait… this is REAL love? Not the diet version? Not the sample-sized sachet? Not the trial-period emotional subscription?”
HEALTHY LOVE???
After three decades of crumbs, it felt like Christmas, a birthday, and a spa retreat all at once.
Humour Meets Healing
The funny part?
Once you get the full package, you look back at those crumbs and think:
“Was I… starving??
Did I really write a thank-you speech in my head for someone who texted me back within 48 hours??
DID I CHEER FOR A CRUMB??”
Yes.
Yes, you did.
And that’s okay — you were malnourished.
Now you’re feasting.
The Full Package: Side Effects May Include
- Excessive smiling
- Random giggling
- Feeling safe for no reason
- Real conversations
- Being treated like a human being, not a convenience
- Not begging for tiny scraps of validation
- Belly laughs
- Sleep
- Peace
- Thinking, “OMG… THIS is what it’s meant to feel like?”
The Truth (Wrapped in Humour, But Dead Serious)
You spent decades grateful for crumbs because crumbs were all you’d seen.
Once healthy love shows up, you realise:
Crumbs are for pigeons.
I am a whole human.
And I deserve the full meal — with dessert.
And now?
You’re getting it.
Loudly, proudly, unapologetically.
Because life’s too short to beg for crumbs
when you deserve the whole bakery.
