Someone who attempts strangulation is showing a very particular psychology:
- Extreme Control → Strangulation is the ultimate act of domination: “I decide whether you live or die.” It isn’t just violence, it’s a rehearsal of murder.
- Dehumanization → The abuser is able to see their partner not as a loved one, but as an object to be silenced, subdued, or destroyed.
- Rage + Cold Calculation → Some do it in blind rage, but many describe the abuser’s face as calm, detached, even curious — which is even more terrifying.
- Testing Boundaries → Often, strangulation is used as a test: “How far can I go? What will they tolerate? Will anyone stop me?” If there are no consequences, the danger escalates.
- Lack of Fear of Consequences → Someone who strangles has crossed one of the highest barriers of violence. It means they feel entitled to lethal control — and that entitlement rarely disappears.
🚨 How Dangerous Are They?
Extremely. Here’s why strangulation is considered a red flag for homicide:
- Survivors of non-fatal strangulation are 7 times more likely to later be killed by the same abuser.
- Strangulation is often the last step before homicide in abusive relationships.
- Even a single incident can cause hidden internal injuries, brain damage, or delayed death from lack of oxygen.
- An abuser who strangles once is likely to do it again — and the risk escalates with each episode.
This isn’t about a “bad temper.” It’s about someone willing to put their hands around another person’s neck and squeeze — knowing they could end a life in seconds. That makes them highly dangerous not only to their partner but sometimes to others in their circle (children, new partners, or even strangers who get in the way).
🌿 Final Thought
If someone has strangled you, it is not just “violence.” It is an attempted murder. It’s the abuser showing you they are capable of killing you — and perhaps wondering if they can get away with it.
The mindset is not love, not even anger. It is ownership, entitlement, and the willingness to cross the ultimate boundary.
💜 The most dangerous thing you can do is minimize it. Strangulation means you are in immediate, life-threatening danger — and you deserve urgent protection and support.
