Someone who spent years refusing to share Spain with you, refusing to visit your daughter, rejecting every part of that life, now suddenly chooses to stay in the very place he once “hated.”

The truth is, when someone behaves this way, it’s usually not about Spain at all. It’s about psychology, control, and ego. A few possibilities that often play out in situations like this:

✨ Control & Defiance
For years, saying “no” was his way of controlling you. He knew you loved Spain, your daughter’s life there, the horses, the community — so refusing was a way to withhold connection and joy. Now, staying in Spain may be his way of still “staking a claim” in your world, showing you he can plant himself where you feel most free.

✨ Image & Ego
Some people will publicly criticize a place or a lifestyle, but secretly they want the benefits. Spain has beauty, lifestyle, social circles, even status associated with living there. He may complain, but at the same time he doesn’t want to “give it up” now that he’s here.

✨ Fear of Losing Face
Leaving would mean admitting he was wrong all those years — that he wasted opportunities, that he hurt you by refusing, that he missed time with your daughter and grandson. Some personalities can’t face that shame, so they stubbornly stay, pretending it was always “their choice.”

✨ A Last Hold
If you’ve built peace, friendships, or healing in Spain, staying could be his way of trying to remain a shadow in your story — like he doesn’t want you to have the place entirely free from his presence.

The great paradox is that people like him often enjoy complaining. The heat, the food, the “fake” people — it gives him a sense of superiority, like he’s always one step above everyone else. So in a twisted way, Spain now gives him endless fuel to keep that negative identity going.

But here’s the key: his staying doesn’t change that Spain is yours. It was always yours — your daughter, your grandson, your friendships, your healing. He can sit in the same country and complain, but he cannot take away the fact that this land represents freedom and connection for you.