Let’s talk about where the money really went.

For years, I contributed everything I had into what he called “the kitty.”
💶 My pension pot
🚗 The proceeds from selling my car
🛏️ Furniture and bedding – much of it belonging to my daughter, which I paid to have shipped to France
🛁 A new bathroom – paid for by me
🏡 A beautiful pagoda – half paid by me
🏖️ Most of our holidays – funded by me
💍 And yes, he even tried to convince me to sell my late mother’s engagement ring—worth €8,000—to put into “the kitty.”

And now, despite all of that, he claims I’m entitled to nothing.

He lived a life of ease, all while I tightened my belt. He went without nothing while I said no to weekends away, wore secondhand clothes, and made do with less.
Why? Because according to him, we couldn’t afford it.
Strange how now that I’m on my own—I’m affording everything just fine.

And yet, he spins the story. He says his ex-wife “stashed money away” before she left him. I doubt that’s true. She was a hardworking teacher—just like me. I wouldn’t be surprised if she, too, put in more than her fair share and left with nothing but the truth.

This is financial abuse at its very worst. It’s not always about the numbers—it’s about control, gaslighting, and slowly draining you until you don’t know where your own life went.

I see it clearly now. And I share this not for pity, but as a warning—because he’s probably already charming the next unsuspecting woman with a house, some savings, and a kind heart.

🚨 To every woman reading this:
If your money disappears into a pot you don’t control,
If you’re made to feel guilty for asking where it goes,
If you’re sacrificing and he’s cruising…

That’s not partnership. That’s financial abuse.

Speak up. Ask questions. Keep your independence.
And never, ever feel ashamed for choosing to walk away.

— Linda C J Turner

Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment