For years, I poured everything I had into others — even when it depleted me.
Even when it cost me my truth.
Even when it broke my body and bruised my spirit.
But not anymore.
Now, I am my number one priority.
Not from a place of selfishness — but from a place of survival, healing, and hard-won wisdom.
🧠 From a Psychological Perspective
After prolonged emotional trauma or manipulation, we often develop what psychologists call fawn responses — a survival strategy rooted in appeasing others to avoid conflict or abandonment. Over time, this can condition us to constantly prioritise others at the expense of ourselves.
But healing means learning how to reverse that wiring.
It means making your own well-being the anchor — not an afterthought.
✨ My New Priorities — Anchored in Truth
💚 Myself.
I tend to me now. My health, my nervous system, my inner peace.
I no longer betray my body or override my intuition to keep the peace.
🐾 My dog.
A loyal, loving companion who has been beside me through thick and thin — who asks for nothing but gives everything. In that quiet, constant presence, I find comfort and grounding.
👩👧👶👶 My family.
My daughter. My grandchildren.
This is where my heart lives now — in rebuilding memories we lost, in healing generational wounds, and in making space for laughter and connection. We have years to catch up on, and that time is sacred.
🤝 Others — when they earn it.
Anyone new who enters my life gets a small part of me — not because I’m closed, but because I’ve learned discernment.
Trust and emotional intimacy are not freely given anymore. They are earned through consistency, respect, and reciprocity.
❤️ A Partner Will Never Again Be My Priority — Unless…
Not unless he honors my truth.
Not unless he cherishes what I bring to the table.
Not unless he meets me with equal integrity, care, and effort.
The days of abandoning myself to serve someone else’s comfort are over.
Love, for me, must now come with emotional safety, not sacrifice.
🌱 A Message for Anyone Rebuilding:
If you’re learning to place yourself at the center of your life again — keep going.
It’s not selfish.
It’s not hard-hearted.
It’s psychologically necessary for healing and thriving after trauma.
Because when we honour ourselves, we teach the world how to treat us.
Let the people who matter rise to meet your new standards.
The rest were never meant to stay.
With love and clarity,
💬 Linda C J Turner Therapy
Empowering emotional recovery and post-traumatic growth
