By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate
You’re walking through the street, maybe a little weary, maybe holding it all together with invisible thread…
And someone you know — a friend, a neighbor, maybe even someone you hadn’t spoken to in a while — stops you.
And they say something like:
✨ “I lit a candle for you.”
✨ “I’ve been thinking about you.”
✨ “I said a prayer for your court day.”
✨ “How did it go? I’ve been hoping you’re okay.”
And just like that, something inside you softens.
Because you realize:
You were never really alone.
Not entirely.
Not in the way trauma tries to make you believe.
🧠 Why This Matters: From a Psychological Perspective
These small gestures — a prayer, a check-in, a moment of presence — may seem simple, but they are powerful acts of co-regulation.
When we’re going through trauma, especially something as raw as a court case, we are often in a hypervigilant or anxious state. Our nervous system is scanning for threat, not safety.
But kindness?
Genuine, unprompted kindness?
It tells your brain and body: You’re safe now. You’re not alone.
These words, these moments of support: – Activate the parasympathetic nervous system (rest and calm)
– Help regulate cortisol (stress hormone)
– Build emotional resilience and even improve immune function
– And most importantly… they remind you that your pain is witnessed
🌿 There’s a Sacredness in Being Remembered
When someone lights a candle for you — literally or metaphorically — they are holding space for your struggle.
They are saying, “You matter. I see your courage. I believe your truth.”
In a world where too many people turn away, minimize pain, or sit in silence…
These friends, these quiet soul-supporters, lean in.
They may not know every detail.
They may not have the perfect words.
But they show up.
They care.
And that’s everything.
💛 This Is Gratitude With Depth
This isn’t just thank-you-for-your-help gratitude.
This is soul gratitude.
The kind that says:
– “You saw me when I felt invisible.”
– “You remembered me when I was buried in fear.”
– “You believed me when others didn’t.”
– “Your light reached me in the dark.”
💬 A Gentle Reflection for You Today:
– Who are the people who lit candles for you — in action, in words, in spirit?
– Have you told them what it meant?
– Can you offer that same light to someone else today?
🌟 To All Who Hold Space in Quiet Ways: Thank You.
To the friends who message at just the right time.
To the ones who pray without needing recognition.
To the people who say, “How did it go?” with genuine care.
To those who believe you — even when others didn’t.
You may never know just how much your kindness meant.
But know this:
You helped someone breathe again.
— Linda C J Turner
Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment
