Abusers do not simply harm their victims with physical or emotional abuse—they also work systematically to strip them of their support systems, leaving them vulnerable, isolated, and entirely under their control. One of the most insidious ways they do this is by targeting the people their victims love the most: family, friends, and anyone who offers care or support.

In my case, this began with my son. He lived with us in the UK, and from the start, my abuser could not tolerate the love I had for him. His jealousy ran so deep that I was told to ask my own son to leave our home. The pain of that decision still lingers—I have never seen him since.

Next, he turned his attention to my sister. She had been a source of comfort and strength, especially after one of his abusive attacks when I returned to the UK. But he made it clear—she was no longer welcome in my home. Just like that, another pillar of support was ripped away.

Then came my daughter and grandchildren. He did not stop at immediate family; he systematically picked them off, one by one, creating divisions and poisoning relationships. The same pattern repeated itself with friends—those who saw through his facade, who recognized his cruelty, were driven away. Over the years, supportive friends in the UK, France, and Spain all faced the same fate. If they stood by me, he would find a way to make them disappear from my life.

This was not random. It was a calculated strategy to isolate me completely. With no one left to turn to, he could tighten his grip. He extended this control to finances, ensuring that I had little to no access to money. Even basic freedoms were taken away—he sold the car, making it nearly impossible for me to leave. Every move was about control, about keeping me trapped in a world where he was the only constant.

But there is one thing abusers fail to understand: they cannot break the human spirit forever. While they may succeed in isolating and controlling for a time, the moment their victims see the truth—truly see it—their power begins to crumble.

Rebuilding life after such calculated destruction is not easy, but it is possible. And for anyone still trapped in this cycle, know this: the isolation they create is not real. There are people who will support you, help you, and remind you of who you are. They may have pushed everyone away from you, but they have not erased your worth, your strength, or your ability to break free.

And breaking free? That is where true healing begins. ❤️