When the abuser’s family excuses their violence by saying, “It’s okay if he takes his medication, but sometimes he chooses not to,” they are enabling the abuse and minimizing the danger. This kind of response is not just harmful—it is outright dangerous.
Why This is a Huge Red Flag
- Medication is NOT a Pass for Violence
- If someone is prescribed medication for severe anger or impulse control issues, it’s because they are a known risk.
- Choosing not to take it means choosing to be dangerous.
- The family’s attitude suggests they are willing to overlook abuse as long as there is an excuse.
- They Are Covering for Him
- If they acknowledge that he can be violent when unmedicated, why aren’t they actively making sure he takes it?
- Instead of protecting the victim, they are normalizing his outbursts and shifting blame to his condition rather than his choices.
- This means they cannot be trusted to help.
- They Would Rather Protect Him Than You
- If they cared about your safety, they would insist he stays on medication and gets professional help.
- By saying “it’s okay, sometimes he chooses not to,” they are accepting the risk that he could seriously injure or kill someone.
- This kind of family dynamic is toxic and dangerous.
What Does This Mean for You?
🚨 You cannot rely on them for safety or support.
🚨 They will make excuses for him, even if he hurts you.
🚨 He is not out of control—he is making a choice to be violent.
Can You Ever Be Safe in This Situation?
No—not as long as he refuses to take his medication and has people defending him.
✔ The safest option is to plan a way out.
✔ Do not involve his family in your escape—they will likely warn him.
✔ Get support from people who will take this seriously (domestic violence experts, police, legal professionals).
If this situation is escalating, please know you are not alone. You deserve to be safe, and there are ways to get out without warning him or his enablers. Would you like help with safety planning or finding resources? 💙
