True change only happens when someone acknowledges their actions, takes responsibility for the harm they’ve caused, and actively seeks help to break destructive patterns. Without that accountability, they are not growing—they’re just continuing the cycle of harm, denial, and control.

Refusing to Seek Help = No Real Change

• If someone continues hurting, punishing, or withholding from another person, they haven’t changed. They are still operating from the same toxic mindset.
• Manipulation and stalking—whether on a personal level or something as specific as watching someone at a padel court—are clear signs that they are still trying to exert control, not heal.
• Withholding finances as a means of power and punishment is financial abuse. This isn’t just a personal failing; it’s a form of coercion and control that keeps the victim trapped.
• If someone justifies their actions instead of taking responsibility, they are proving that they haven’t received help in any meaningful way.

Change Requires Three Things:

1. Acknowledgment of Harm: Without recognizing the damage done, there’s no foundation for change.
2. Genuine Effort to Heal: Seeking professional help, therapy, and self-reflection are necessary steps.
3. Changed Behavior: Real transformation is reflected in actions, not words. If someone is still punishing, manipulating, or stalking, they haven’t healed.

Stalking, Control, and Financial Abuse = Signs of Deep Emotional Dysfunction

These behaviors don’t come from a place of strength; they come from fear, insecurity, and an inability to let go. If someone is engaging in these tactics:

• They are likely fueling their own misery by obsessing over controlling someone else instead of healing themselves.
• Their need to punish and control reflects a complete lack of emotional growth—they are stuck in unresolved psychological conflicts.
• The more they refuse to get help, the deeper they spiral into their own toxicity, making their life smaller, more bitter, and more isolated.

Your Healing is Their Fear

The fact that they are still trying to control you in some way means one thing: you are outgrowing them, and they know it. People like this don’t target those who are still stuck in their emotional web; they go after those who have broken free.

The best thing you can do? Keep going. Keep healing. Keep living your life.
Their power is fading, and they know it. That’s why they’re resorting to these desperate measures. But you are already beyond their reach—you’ve done the work, and they haven’t.

Let them drown in their own stagnation while you move forward into the next, beautiful chapter of your life. 💛✨