It can feel profoundly draining and disheartening—when you’re always there for someone, offering them support, time, and emotional space, yet they’re absent or unavailable when you need them most. It’s like you’re pouring so much of yourself into this person, but when your well runs dry, they don’t notice—or worse, they don’t show up. It creates an imbalance in the relationship that can lead to feelings of resentment, frustration, and emotional exhaustion.

When someone repeatedly fails to reciprocate the care and attention you give, especially during challenging times, it can make you question the foundation of the relationship. You might wonder if they truly value you or if the relationship is one-sided. This can be particularly hurtful if you’re going through something really difficult and feel like you’re left alone to carry that burden, even though you’ve always made space for their struggles.

It’s important to recognize that healthy relationships are built on mutual support and understanding. While the balance of give-and-take doesn’t always have to be perfect, it should at least feel like both parties care enough to show up for one another when it matters most. If that’s not happening, it might be a sign that the relationship is in need of some boundaries or a serious conversation about expectations.

Some people, unfortunately, might not be emotionally capable of being there for others in the way that we hope or need them to be. It doesn’t always mean they don’t care—it could be a matter of emotional immaturity, self-centeredness, or simply being unaware of how to show up for others because of their own issues. But that doesn’t diminish your needs or the pain of feeling unsupported.

This is where boundaries can be empowering. If you’ve always been the one giving, it might be time to pause and evaluate whether this dynamic is sustainable or healthy for you. You deserve to be supported just as much as you support others, and it’s okay to seek relationships where that reciprocity is present.

Have you had a chance to communicate how you feel to this person? Sometimes people need things spelled out for them, even if it seems obvious to you. But it’s also okay to protect your energy and shift your focus to people who will show up for you, too.

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