It’s heartbreaking to think of someone in rehab being subjected to emotional manipulation or psychological harm, especially when they’re at such a vulnerable point in their life. People in rehabilitation, whether for substance abuse, trauma recovery, or any form of mental health struggle, are in a delicate state. They’re working hard to heal and rebuild their lives, often grappling with feelings of shame, guilt, and deep emotional pain. Therefore, it is essential for the people around them—especially caregivers, family members, friends, or even professionals—to exercise a strong sense of moral responsibility.
Moral Responsibility of Adults:
- Creating a Safe Space: The most fundamental moral responsibility for anyone interacting with a person in rehab is to provide a safe and supportive environment. Safety doesn’t just mean physical safety—it also includes emotional and psychological safety. Adults should avoid triggering discussions about past traumas unless in the context of therapeutic work where the person is ready and in control.
- Avoiding Emotional Blackmail or Manipulation: A person in recovery is often filled with self-doubt, making them particularly susceptible to coercion. Adults must be mindful not to exploit this vulnerability through guilt-tripping, emotional blackmail, or other manipulative tactics. For example, making them feel like a burden to the family or society is harmful and only serves to hinder their recovery process.
- Mindful of Re-Traumatization: Some well-meaning people may think that by repeatedly confronting a person with their past mistakes or traumas, they are encouraging them to change. However, this can lead to re-traumatization. Reliving trauma over and over without therapeutic support can intensify feelings of helplessness and despair, pushing the person closer to relapse or even suicide. Instead, focus should be on healing and moving forward, rather than rehashing painful memories.
- Empathy and Patience: Recovery is a slow process, often filled with setbacks. Adults need to practice empathyand patience with the person in rehab. Recovery isn’t linear, and shaming someone for a perceived lack of progress only further discourages them. The role of people around them should be to offer consistent support, not judgment.
- Ethical Duty to Seek Help for the Person: If someone in rehab is being emotionally or psychologically abused, it becomes the ethical duty of any adult aware of the situation to intervene. This could mean reporting the behavior to professionals at the rehab center, involving a therapist, or in extreme cases, legal intervention.
What Type of Person Does This?
There are different reasons why someone might engage in this kind of destructive behavior. Some people may be ignorant of the impact their words and actions have, while others may be intentionally manipulative. Here are a few types of individuals who might be involved:
- The Well-Intentioned but Ignorant: They might believe that confronting past mistakes or traumas harshly is the best way to push the person toward change. These individuals may need education on the therapeutic process, understanding that recovery should be about empowerment, not punishment.
- The Emotionally Manipulative: This individual might be leveraging the person’s vulnerable state for control or personal gain. They could be driven by unresolved issues of their own, using the recovering individual’s weaknesses to feel superior or to maintain control.
- The Toxic Enabler: Sometimes, family members or friends may engage in subtle manipulation or emotional blackmail because they are subconsciously afraid of losing their own sense of control over the recovering person. They might not even realize how damaging their behavior is but need to address their own role in the unhealthy dynamic.
- Narcissistic Individuals: Narcissists may use emotional blackmail to keep the person in a state of dependence, making them feel guilty or worthless as a way to retain control. Such individuals are often not concerned with the well-being of others and may manipulate the rehab situation to keep the focus on themselves.
- People with Trauma of Their Own: Sometimes, the manipulator may be struggling with their own unresolved trauma and thus project their issues onto the recovering person. This kind of “mutual wounding” can create an unhealthy dynamic in which both parties are trapped in cycles of harm.
What Can Be Done About It?
- Boundaries: Encourage the person in rehab to establish and maintain clear emotional boundaries. These boundaries should limit discussions about their past unless it’s in the context of professional therapy. Family and friends should be made aware of these boundaries, and rehab centers can help facilitate this.
- Involvement of Professionals: Trained professionals—such as therapists, social workers, and addiction counselors—should oversee interactions between vulnerable individuals and their support networks. In cases where emotional manipulation or abuse is suspected, therapists may need to intervene and establish guidelines for family or peer involvement.
- Education for Loved Ones: Many rehab centers and recovery programs offer family counseling or education programs. These are crucial for helping loved ones understand the recovery process and their own role in it. Through such programs, family members can learn the importance of providing support without creating further harm.
- Accountability: If someone is engaging in repeated harmful behaviors, they must be held accountable. This could mean removing toxic individuals from the person’s immediate environment or involving authorities if the emotional manipulation crosses into abuse.
- Support for the Manipulator: Sometimes, the individual engaging in emotional blackmail or manipulation needs help too. Therapy for them may be essential in breaking harmful cycles of behavior. If this person is a loved one, encouraging them to seek their own counseling can benefit everyone involved.
- Empower the Recovering Person: One of the most effective ways to combat manipulation is to empower the person in recovery. This can include self-advocacy training, therapy that focuses on self-worth, and creating a strong network of positive and supportive influences. When a person in rehab feels confident, they are less likely to be swayed by emotional manipulation or abuse.
In conclusion, dealing with someone in rehab requires immense care, compassion, and responsibility. Moral responsibility is about creating a supportive space that encourages healing rather than intensifying the pain. For anyone who would resort to emotional manipulation or abuse during this process, intervention is necessary—both for the person in rehab and for those perpetuating harm. Healing must be the priority, and every step should focus on guiding the individual toward recovery, rather than forcing them back into a cycle of despair.
