One of the clearest lessons I have learned is this: Pay attention to how someone treats those who are most vulnerable. Not how they treat people they want to impress. Not how they behave when others are watching. But how they treat those who have little power to defend themselves. Children. Older people. Animals. A… Read More When Cruelty Becomes a Pattern

One of the most valuable lessons neuroscience and psychology teach us is this: Behaviour that is repeated over many years often becomes a deeply ingrained habit. Our brains become efficient at repeating behaviours that have produced a desired outcome in the past. Through reinforcement and habit formation, certain ways of thinking and acting can become… Read More Observe the Pattern, Not Just the Person

One of the strongest predictors of future behaviour is past behaviour. That doesn’t mean people can’t change—they can. But genuine change usually requires accountability, insight and sustained effort, not simply the passage of time. If someone has repeatedly used relationships to gain financially, manipulated others for money, or left a trail of disputes over finances, it… Read More Before You Commit, Look at the Pattern—Not Just the Promises