In a lesser-known series of experiments within Social Psychology, researchers explored a simple but uncomfortable question: What do people do when they believe no one is watching? What they found challenges the comforting belief that cruelty is rare or limited to “bad people.” When anonymity increases, accountability drops. And when accountability drops, a small but significant number… Read More Cruelty When No One’s Watching
🧍♂️ 1. Individual grooming (one perpetrator) This is the most common pattern. What it looks like: Key signs: 👉 This is typically behaviour-driven and opportunistic, not organised. 🕸️ 2. Coordinated exploitation (networks or groups) This is more serious and less common, but does exist in investigations. What it looks like: Key signs: 👉 This is typically treated as organised… Read More Individual grooming vs coordinated exploitation (how to recognise the difference)
Grooming is a process, not a single event. It usually unfolds in stages: 1. Targeting The person identifies a young person through: They often choose: 2. Building trust (“gaining access”) They may: 👉 This can feel like friendship at first. 3. Emotional dependence They start to: 4. Isolation They may: 5. Boundary testing This is where manipulation increases: 6. Control, coercion, or… Read More How online grooming typically happens
In my work with couples, one pattern becomes very clear over time: the outcome of a separation or reconciliation is rarely determined by the relationship ending itself—but by how people behave during that process. When couples reach a turning point, there are usually three broad paths I see unfold. 1. When Respect Remains Intact Some couples manage… Read More Couples Therapy, Separation, and What Really Determines the Outcome
There are quite a few campaigns and initiatives happening in Spain right now around violence against women and girls—some long-standing, some evolving with new risks (like digital abuse). Here’s a clear overview of the main ones so you can see the landscape: 🇪🇸 Current & Ongoing Campaigns in Spain 🔴 “Saca tarjeta roja al maltratador” (Show the red card… Read More 🇪🇸 Current & Ongoing Campaigns in Spain
Recent reports have highlighted a deeply concerning reality: in some cases, the impact of domestic abuse is so severe that victims take their own lives. This is not a separate issue from abuse.It is part of it. When a person is subjected to sustained fear, control, psychological harm, and isolation, the damage is not always… Read More When Abuse Doesn’t End in Visible Violence: The Hidden Cost of Coercion and Control
Week 1: Stabilise & Contain the Chaos This is usually the most emotionally volatile stage. 🧠 Goal: safety + nervous system stabilisation, not clarity yet. Week 2: Emotional Detox This is where withdrawal and doubt often peak. 🧠 Goal: reduce emotional spikes and attachment loops. Week 3: Rebuilding Internal Stability You start coming back to yourself in… Read More First 30 Days After Leaving – Recovery Checklist
Leaving a harmful or abusive dynamic is not a single decision—it’s a process.And often, the moment you step away is when everything feels like it shakes the most. This is the part people don’t talk about enough. The seismic fallout. Why It Feels So Intense When you leave, you’re not just walking away from a person.… Read More When You Leave: Navigating the Seismic Fallout and Learning to Hold Yourself
When people experience harmful or abusive behaviour in relationships, one of the most confusing aspects is repetition. The same dynamics appear again and again.The same excuses.The same cycles. And often, the same outcome. This is why it’s essential to look beyond isolated incidents and focus on patterns over time—because psychology shows us that patterns are rarely… Read More Pay Attention to Patterns: The Psychology Behind Repeated Abusive Behaviour
Abuse does not always begin with something obvious. It often starts subtly—small shifts in behaviour, tone, or control that are easy to dismiss or explain away. Over time, these behaviours can build into patterns that impact your safety, your mental health, and your sense of self. Understanding the signs of dangerous or abusive behaviour is… Read More Dangerous and Abusive Behaviours: Recognising the Signs Before They Escalate
Linda C J Turner | Trauma Therapist & Emotional Healing Specialist 