Mental health refers to a person’s emotional, psychological, and social well-being, encompassing the ability to handle stress, relate to others, make decisions, and navigate the challenges of life. It influences how individuals think, feel, and act, contributing to the overall balance and quality of their lives. Mental health is essential at every stage of life, from childhood and adolescence through adulthood.
One of the hardest realisations after leaving a controlling or abusive relationship is recognising that the behaviour didn’t begin with you. You didn’t cause it. You didn’t create it. And, unless the person genuinely accepts responsibility and commits to meaningful change, it is unlikely to end with you. Many patterns of behaviour are learned early… Read More “I Wasn’t the First, and I Won’t Be the Last”
Sometimes, families have a phrase for someone whose behaviour is so consistent that it becomes part of their identity. One phrase I’ve heard is “Bare Minimum.” Not because the person lacked money. Not because they were unable to be generous. But because, regardless of the occasion, they gave the absolute minimum they believed they could get… Read More “Bare Minimum” – When Doing the Least Becomes a Way of Life
When people think of domestic abuse, they often picture shouting, threats, or physical violence. What is less recognised is financial abuse—a form of coercive control that can quietly erode a person’s independence, confidence, and future over many years. Financial abuse isn’t simply about one partner earning more than the other. It is about using money as a… Read More When Financial Abuse Is Hidden in Plain Sight
It’s an interesting transformation. For years, there always seemed to be something to say about someone else. Someone to report. Someone to criticise. Someone to blame. Someone whose reputation needed to be questioned. Someone who, in their eyes, had done them wrong. Then, one day… Silence. The person who was once so visible becomes what… Read More The Invisible Man
The mindset can vary from person to person, so it’s not possible to know exactly what any one individual is thinking. However, psychologists often describe certain patterns of thinking that can underlie persistent blame, resentment, and attempts to undermine others. Some common patterns include: Why this can become a cycle When someone repeatedly thinks this way, the… Read More General psychological patterns
Sometimes, the greatest insight doesn’t come from what someone says to your face. It comes from what they write when they think no one is looking. Imagine opening an old backup drive and finding letter after letter. Some had been sent. Others had never left the page. As you read them, a pattern begins to… Read More The Letters That Told Their Own Story
At the beginning of the relationship, I listened with sympathy. I heard endless stories about the previous partner. According to them, she was the problem. She was “crazy.” She was violent. She stole from him. She hit him. She tried to force him out of the house. She was unintelligent. She was lazy. She was… Read More Looking Back, I Realise They Were Stories
One of the biggest mistakes people make in a new relationship is focusing only on how someone treats them. In the early stages, many people are on their best behaviour. Instead, widen the lens. Look at the quality of their relationships with the people who have known them the longest. While no single factor proves someone… Read More Look Beyond How They Treat You—Look at How They Live
One of the questions I am asked most often is: “How can I spot an abuser before I become emotionally invested?” The truth is that many abusive people do not reveal who they really are on the first date. If they did, very few people would choose to continue the relationship. Instead, abuse often begins… Read More Can You Recognise an Abuser Before You Enter a Relationship?
One of the most painful experiences for survivors of domestic abuse is hearing someone close to them say: “I doubt he’ll kill you.” It may be intended as reassurance, but to someone living with abuse, those words can feel dismissive, minimising, and dangerously out of touch with reality. The truth is that relatives, friends, and… Read More “I Doubt He’ll Kill You” – Why Well-Meaning Relatives Can Get It Wrong
