A friend once described my situation as being like peeling back the layers of an onion. At first, I thought that if I looked hard enough, asked enough questions, and tried hard enough to understand, I would eventually find the truth. I believed there had to be a reason for the behaviour, a hidden explanation… Read More The Rotten Onion
I think I will cry with relief when I finally get my own home again. Not because it’s bricks and mortar. Not because it’s an investment. Not because it’s a status symbol. But because it represents something far more valuable: Freedom. For decades, I lived under the shadow of threats. If I did something wrong,… Read More Freedom
There comes a point in life when we all have to stop blaming, stop making excuses, stop explaining away uncomfortable realities, and take a long, honest look in the mirror. Not a quick glance at the surface. A deep look. An honest look. A courageous look. Many parents struggle to understand why their adult children… Read More The Mirror We Often Avoid Looking Into
Sometimes it is not the big things that hurt the most. It is the small things. You visit their home and notice photographs of family members on display. Parents, siblings, children, friends, holidays, celebrations, and treasured memories are all visible. But there is no photograph of you. You look around and realise that gifts you… Read More When You Seem to Have Disappeared from Their World
One of the most painful forms of self-deception can occur when a parent desperately wants to believe what their adult child is saying, while ignoring what their adult child’s actions are showing them. Most parents want to see the best in their children. They want to believe the promises, the reassurances, and the comforting words.… Read More When Words and Actions Tell Different Stories
One of the most painful situations an ageing parent can face is when their adult children make it clear they don’t want to be involved in their care, wellbeing, or future. The reality is that some people are happy for someone else to carry the responsibility. They may not want to help, visit, support, or… Read More When the Children Don’t Want to Know
One of the hardest lessons many people learn in an abusive relationship is that no amount of love, patience, sacrifice, pleading, reasoning, or counselling can force another person to change. You cannot control someone else’s behaviour. You cannot make them stop lying. You cannot make them stop manipulating. You cannot make them stop being verbally,… Read More The One Person You Can Change Is You
When money becomes the focus of nearly every conversation, it often reflects something deeper than simple curiosity about finances. There can be several psychological reasons: Security and Survival For some people, money represents safety. If they grew up with financial insecurity, they may constantly assess what things cost, what people earn, and who owns what… Read More Social Comparison
A pattern of judgment, projection, and hypocrisy. When someone says things like “she was never a Samaritan, she was just a gold digger” why would she be interested in someone 25 years her senior? Without evidence, several psychological processes can be at work: Projection People sometimes attribute motives to others that reflect their own way of thinking.… Read More A pattern of judgment, projection, and hypocrisy.
You see an old photograph. A beautiful beach. A mountain village. A bustling city square. A restaurant overlooking the sea. For a moment, your mind remembers the sunshine, the laughter, the excitement of discovering somewhere new. You find yourself talking to a friend about that special place, recalling the scenery, the food, the experience. Then,… Read More When the Mind Plays Tricks: Revisiting Places, Reclaiming Memories
Linda C J Turner | Trauma Therapist & Emotional Healing Specialist 