In the aftermath of a difficult relationship, it’s common for people to search for explanations that might soften the reality of what happened. One of the most frequent thoughts is: “Maybe it mattered that they moved on quickly,” or “Maybe it mattered that they were lonely, or had someone new, or had no one at all.” But long-term… Read More Whether He Had a New Girlfriend, Boyfriend, or No Friends: Abuse Is Abuse
After discovering the truth—after reading, reflecting, doing the inner work, and engaging with professionals—something profound begins to happen. There comes a point where denial can no longer be maintained. What was once avoided becomes visible.What was once minimised becomes undeniable.What was once confused becomes clear. But when the truth finally comes out, people do not… Read More After the Truth: When Intervention, Distance, and Clarity Collide
After discovering the truth—after reading, reflecting, doing the inner work, and engaging with professionals—something profound begins to happen. There comes a point where denial can no longer be maintained. What was once avoided becomes visible.What was once minimised becomes undeniable.What was once confused becomes clear. But when the truth finally comes out, people do not… Read More After the Truth: What Happens When Denial Can No Longer Hold
There is a moment in healing that doesn’t come from books, or theory, or even understanding. It comes from being seen. Recently, someone said to me:“Despite his best attempts, he hasn’t managed to kill your soul.” And another:“You still have a large, soft heart… you’re still open to love.” After everything I had been through,… Read More They Didn’t Kill My Soul — And That Is the Real Victory
This collection of lectures and essays by Alfred Adler brings together one of his most important ideas: That the desire for superiority must be balanced by social interest. Adler did not believe that striving to improve oneself was wrong. In fact, he saw it as a natural and necessary part of being human. We all want… Read More Superiority and Social Interest (Posthumous, 1964)
This series explores human behaviour, relationships, and emotional resilience through the work of Alfred Adler—one of the first psychologists to focus not just on what is “wrong” with people, but on how they can grow, connect, and find meaning. Each piece stands alone, but together they tell a deeper story: 1. The Neurotic Constitution —… Read More Understanding Human Behaviour: An Adlerian Series
In 1912, Alfred Adler published The Neurotic Constitution, introducing a powerful idea: That many unhealthy behaviours are not random—but rooted in a deep sense of inferiority. Adler believed that when a person feels fundamentally “less than”—not good enough, not important enough, not secure enough—they don’t simply sit with that feeling. Instead, they try to compensate… Read More From Inferiority to Control: What Adler Can Teach Us About Harmful Relationship Dynamics
Kindness costs nothing. No money.No status.No special privilege. And yet, for some people, it seems to be the hardest thing in the world to offer. That truth can be difficult to understand—especially if you are someone who gives kindness naturally. If you are someone who considers others, who chooses your words carefully, who would rather… Read More Kindness Costs Nothing — Yet Some People Still Refuse to Give It
Recently, someone said something to me that stopped me in my tracks: “Despite his best attempts, he hasn’t managed to kill your soul.” Another person told me, “You still have a large, soft heart… you’re still open to love.” To most people, these might sound like simple observations.To me, they felt like music. Because after everything… Read More They Didn’t Kill My Soul
Psychologists sometimes refer to a subtle but deeply impactful experience as ambiguous deprivation.It’s not about something dramatic that happened to you.It’s about what didn’t. It’s the quiet absence of what should have been there: And because nothing obvious was “taken,” it can be incredibly hard to name. The Loss You Can’t Point To Unlike clear trauma, ambiguous… Read More Ambiguous Deprivation: The Invisible Loss That Shapes Us
Linda C J Turner | Trauma Therapist & Emotional Healing Specialist 