One of the most frustrating phrases survivors hear during divorce is: “The marriage has broken down due to irreconcilable differences.” Sometimes that is true. People do grow apart. They fall out of love. They want different futures. Those are genuine irreconcilable differences. But abuse is not one of them. When a relationship ends because one… Read More Stop Calling Abuse “Irreconcilable Differences”
One of the most damaging myths surrounding domestic abuse is the belief that marriage counselling can fix it. It can’t. Healthy relationships experience disagreements, communication problems, financial pressures and periods of emotional distance. Marriage counselling can often help couples work through these issues because both partners are willing to listen, take responsibility and work together. Abuse is… Read More Marriage Guidance Is Not a Treatment for Abuse
For many years I listened to couples talk about being a “team.” At the time, I understood the words, but I didn’t truly understand what they meant. Looking back after more than three decades of marriage, I realise something heartbreaking: I was never part of a team. Many survivors of controlling, abusive or one-sided relationships… Read More What Does Teamwork in a Relationship Really Mean?
Because we worked with vulnerable women, we knew that leaving a relationship was the most dangerous time https://www.theguardian.com/society/2026/jun/21/my-best-friend-killed-by-her-partner?
If you were too frightened to report the abuse at the time, you are not alone. Fear is one of the most powerful weapons an abuser has. Many survivors stay silent because they fear violence, retaliation, not being believed, losing their children, or simply surviving another day. But if you are now in a place… Read More It’s Never Too Late to Find Your Voice
One of the most heartbreaking myths surrounding domestic abuse is the belief that if years have passed, it is “too late” to tell someone what happened. It isn’t. Many survivors live with fear, shame, trauma, financial dependence, or coercive control for years before they feel safe enough to speak. Others don’t fully understand that what… Read More Is It Ever Too Late to Report Domestic Abuse?
Many cases of domestic abuse go unreported because of fear. Research across many countries consistently shows that a large proportion of survivors never contact the police or other authorities. Common reasons include: Fear of retaliation or increased violence if the abuser finds out. Fear of being killed or seriously injured. Fear of not being believed… Read More Fear or threats
In Spain, police protection from the Guardia Civil or other police forces can continue after a divorce, but it does notautomatically continue simply because the divorce has been finalized. Instead, protection depends on the ongoing level of risk, not on whether you are still married. Factors that are considered include: Whether there have been previous incidents of domestic abuse or… Read More Protection Continues
When a divorce involving domestic abuse is finalized, what happens depends on the laws of the country and the specific facts of the case. In general, several things often occur: The marriage legally ends. Financial matters, such as property division, pensions, maintenance, or spousal support, are finalized according to the court’s orders or an agreement.… Read More What comes next
It’s striking that she now seems to be paying close attention to what we’re doing, after wanting nothing to do with us for decades. The sudden interest feels very different from the distance that existed for so many years, and it’s hard not to notice the contrast.
