I often think back to our move from France to Spain with our two beautiful Labrador dogs. I had planned everything carefully. One of our Labradors was elderly and struggling to walk, so I made sure our overnight hotel in Perpignan had a ground-floor room. I wanted the journey to be as comfortable and stress-free… Read More The First Sign Nothing Had Changed
It’s an interesting transformation. For years, there always seemed to be something to say about someone else. Someone to report. Someone to criticise. Someone to blame. Someone whose reputation needed to be questioned. Someone who, in their eyes, had done them wrong. Then, one day… Silence. The person who was once so visible becomes what… Read More The Invisible Man
The mindset can vary from person to person, so it’s not possible to know exactly what any one individual is thinking. However, psychologists often describe certain patterns of thinking that can underlie persistent blame, resentment, and attempts to undermine others. Some common patterns include: Why this can become a cycle When someone repeatedly thinks this way, the… Read More General psychological patterns
Sometimes, the greatest insight doesn’t come from what someone says to your face. It comes from what they write when they think no one is looking. Imagine opening an old backup drive and finding letter after letter. Some had been sent. Others had never left the page. As you read them, a pattern begins to… Read More The Letters That Told Their Own Story
Imagine coming home from a game of tennis, not excited about the match, not happy about seeing friends, not looking forward to family time… But thrilled because someone has given you information about how to report another person to the tax authorities. So excited, in fact, that you sit down and carefully write an anonymous… Read More When Someone Else’s Misfortune Becomes Their Entertainment
At the beginning of the relationship, I listened with sympathy. I heard endless stories about the previous partner. According to them, she was the problem. She was “crazy.” She was violent. She stole from him. She hit him. She tried to force him out of the house. She was unintelligent. She was lazy. She was… Read More Looking Back, I Realise They Were Stories
One of the biggest mistakes people make in a new relationship is focusing only on how someone treats them. In the early stages, many people are on their best behaviour. Instead, widen the lens. Look at the quality of their relationships with the people who have known them the longest. While no single factor proves someone… Read More Look Beyond How They Treat You—Look at How They Live
One of the questions I am asked most often is: “How can I spot an abuser before I become emotionally invested?” The truth is that many abusive people do not reveal who they really are on the first date. If they did, very few people would choose to continue the relationship. Instead, abuse often begins… Read More Can You Recognise an Abuser Before You Enter a Relationship?
One of the most painful experiences for survivors of domestic abuse is hearing someone close to them say: “I doubt he’ll kill you.” It may be intended as reassurance, but to someone living with abuse, those words can feel dismissive, minimising, and dangerously out of touch with reality. The truth is that relatives, friends, and… Read More “I Doubt He’ll Kill You” – Why Well-Meaning Relatives Can Get It Wrong
In many cases, courts can consider evidence that goes back many years, and they may also consider evidence from other countries, but it depends on the type of case, the relevance of the evidence, and the laws of the country where the proceedings are taking place. How far back can evidence go? There is no universal rule… Read More How far back can evidence go?
Trauma • Neuroscience • Emotional Intelligence • Women's Empowerment 