There are negotiations that feel structured, linear, and predictable. And then there are negotiations that feel like: “Yes 👍 … just kidding 🙂 … actually no … wait yes … but also no … but let’s revisit this later.” Welcome to the circus. Act One: The Confident “Yes” The opening act is always smooth. “Yes,… Read More The Negotiation Circus: A Case Study in the Moving Goalpost Effect
There is a particular species of negotiation where words like “yes” and “agreement” exist… but only in theory. In practice, they behave more like quantum particles: Step One: The Initial “Yes” At first, everything is simple. “Yes, we agree.”“Yes, that works.”“Yes, let’s proceed.” A rare moment of clarity. Almost suspiciously so. Step Two: The Immediate Reversal Then, as if… Read More The Art of the Moving Goalposts: Or, How “Yes” Became a Full-Time Fiction
A few relevant concepts: 1. Coercive control (behavioural pattern, not a diagnosis)This is when one party keeps influence over another by creating uncertainty, dependency, or repeated disruption of progress. In practical terms it can look like: The effect is often stress, exhaustion, and loss of momentum. 2. Intermittent reinforcement (reward system effect)From a neuroscience perspective,… Read More High-conflict negotiations or controlling interpersonal dynamics.
After experiencing unhealthy or abusive relationships, much of the focus naturally goes toward recognising red flags. While this is essential, true healing also involves learning to recognise what healthy looks and feels like. Because for many people, especially after difficult relationships, healthy can feel unfamiliar at first. From both a psychological and Neuroscience perspective, the brain and body need time… Read More Green Flags in Healthy Relationships: What to Look for After Healing
Leaving an abusive relationship is a significant step—but it is only the beginning of the healing process. One of the most important stages that follows is learning to recognise what is not healthy, so you don’t unknowingly step back into familiar patterns. After abuse, your perception of what feels “normal” can be distorted. What is familiar can… Read More Red Flags to Watch for After an Abusive Relationship
Leaving a long-term abusive relationship is not just a physical transition—it is a deep emotional and neurological one. Many people find themselves asking: When is the right time to date again? There is no fixed timeline. Healing is not measured in weeks or months. Instead, the answer lies in your internal state, not external pressure. From both… Read More When Is It Safe to Date Again After a Long-Term Abusive Relationship?
In a world where connection is often just a swipe away, many people wonder whether dating can help them heal from past relationships, emotional wounds, or patterns that no longer serve them. It’s a natural question—because relationships are where many of our wounds are created, it seems logical that they might also be where healing… Read More Can You Heal Through Dating? The Psychology Behind Love and Emotional Growth
Many people believe that healing comes from understanding—analysing the past, gaining insight, and making sense of what happened. And while awareness is important, it is often not enough. This is where many people feel stuck. They understand their patterns.They can explain their experiences.They know why they feel the way they do. And yet, nothing truly… Read More Why Thinking Isn’t Enough: The Difference Between Mental and Body-Based Healing
There is a thread that runs through all of this work—one that connects perception, survival, healing, and ultimately, self-trust. At the beginning, there is confusion. The experience of false accusations, projection, and emotional distortion. Psychology helps us name some of it—projection, cognitive dissonance, attachment patterns—but naming it does not immediately make it easier to live… Read More What Happens Over Time
Psychology calls it epistemic injustice—when someone’s lived experience is dismissed because it is considered “too emotional,” “too dramatic,” or simply “too unbelievable.” But disbelief does not erase reality. In fact, neuroscience tells us something very different. The brain and body register experience whether others validate it or not. The nervous system responds to tone, tension, unpredictability,… Read More Epistemic Injustice
Linda C J Turner | Trauma Therapist & Emotional Healing Specialist 