If you have a restraining order (“orden de alejamiento”) against your ex, the responsibility is on him to stay away from you—not the other way around.

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⚖️ What the law in Spain says

A restraining order means:

• He must not approach you (usually within a specific distance)
• He must avoid places where you are present
• He must not contact you

👉 If he attends an event knowing you will be there, he is at risk of breaching the order.

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🚫 Being prevented from attending

If you are told:

• “You can’t come because he’ll be there”
• “It’s easier if you stay away”

This is not how the law is intended to work.

It can feel like you’re being punished, when in reality:

• You are the protected person
• He is the one legally restricted

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👮‍♂️ What should happen instead

If there is a risk he may attend:

• The situation can be reported to the Guardia Civil in advance
• Event organisers can be informed of the restraining order
• If he turns up and you are there → it may be considered a breach

👉 In that case, police can be called immediately.

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🧠 Why this happens (in reality)

Even though the law is clear, in practice people often:

• Avoid “drama” or conflict
• Try to take the “easier option”
• Don’t fully understand restraining orders
• Prioritise convenience over fairness

So they ask the victim to step back—which is unfair, but common.

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⚠️ Important truth

You have the right to live your life, attend events, and be in public spaces.

You should not have to:

• Hide
• Miss out
• Change your life

Because someone else is under legal restriction.

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✔️ Practical steps

If this situation happens:

• Inform organisers clearly: there is a restraining order in place
• Keep a copy of the order with you
• If he appears → call 112 immediately
• Consider informing the Guardia Civil beforehand for larger/public events

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💬 Final thought

A restraining order exists to protect your freedom, not limit it.

If you are being excluded while the person under restriction continues as normal, something is being handled incorrectly.

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