So you’re dating a lawyer.

Congratulations — every conversation is now cross-examination.

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💬 Arguments now include:

• “Just to clarify what you said earlier…”
• “Can you define what you mean by ‘always’?”
• “I’d like to enter Exhibit A: your last text at 21:14”

You didn’t have a disagreement.

You gave testimony.

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🧾 Date nights look like:

• Dinner → mild interrogation with eye contact
• Drinks → “hypothetical scenario” stress tests
• Bed → closing arguments… but emotionally

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🚨 Red flags you didn’t know existed:

• “Let’s stick to the facts”
• “Objection — relevance?”
• “You said one thing… but your tone implied another”

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🧠 Emotional state:

Everything you say may be used against you… in affection.

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❤️ Upside:

• Extremely articulate partner
• You will win fewer arguments, but learn better wording
• Excellent at problem-solving (including yours, uninvited)

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🧾 Downside:

You are never “just upset.”

You are:

“presenting an emotionally inconsistent narrative with incomplete context.”

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🩺 Dating a Doctor: A Survival Guide

So you’re dating a doctor.

Congratulations — your symptoms are now being casually assessed mid-conversation.

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💬 Arguments now include:

• “Describe the onset of this feeling”
• “On a scale of 1–10, how irrational is this reaction?”
• “Have you tried hydration and emotional regulation?”

You don’t feel ignored.

You feel triaged.

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🛋️ Date nights look like:

• Dinner → discussion of rare diseases you didn’t ask about
• Netflix → “that’s unrealistic medically”
• Bed → “you should really be sleeping more”

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🚨 Red flags you didn’t know existed:

• “That’s probably just stress”
• “Have you considered therapy?” (said mid-argument)
• Google searched your symptoms before replying emotionally

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❤️ Upside:

• Very calm in emergencies
• Extremely competent human
• You will always get medical advice (wanted or not)

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🧾 Downside:

You are never “just tired.”

You are:

“presenting with nonspecific fatigue likely related to lifestyle factors.”

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🧊 Dating a Narcissist (Comedic Version): A Survival Guide

So you’re dating a narcissist.

Congratulations — everything is about them, including your feelings.

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💬 Arguments now include:

• “You’re too sensitive”
• “No one has ever understood me like I do”
• “Let’s not make this about you”

Spoiler: it was never about you.

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🪞 Date nights look like:

• You listening
• You validating
• You wondering when your turn is
• (It never arrives)

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🚨 Red flags you didn’t know existed:

• Instant soulmate energy
• Then sudden emotional withdrawal
• You apologising for things you didn’t do… just to restore peace

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❤️ Upside:

• Strong storytelling skills
• Memorable first impression
• Very confident… about themselves

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🧾 Downside:

You start thinking:

“Maybe I am the problem”

(You’re not.)

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🫥 Dating an Emotionally Unavailable Man: A Survival Guide

So you’re dating an emotionally unavailable man.

Congratulations — you are now in a relationship with potential.

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💬 Arguments now include:

• “I’m just really busy at the moment”
• “Let’s not overthink things”
• “I’m not great at talking about feelings”

Translation: feelings not included.

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🛋️ Date nights look like:

• Great chemistry
• Occasional disappearing act
• You overanalysing timestamps like a detective

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🚨 Red flags you didn’t know existed:

• You feel like you’re dating a mood, not a person
• Consistency is “situational”
• Closeness comes in brief, confusing bursts

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❤️ Upside:

• Very chill… when present
• Low drama (because no emotional access)

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🧾 Downside:

You are never fully “in”.

You are:

“kind of together, depending on his emotional bandwidth.”

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