Talking about strangulation in therapy is not just “talking about a memory.”
For many survivors, describing the sensations, fear, and loss of control can reactivate the trauma itself.
This is not resistance.
It is how the nervous system remembers danger.
Why Describing It Feels Overwhelming
Strangulation is a primal threat to survival. When it happened, the brain and body shifted into emergency mode. That response can be reactivated simply by:
- Trying to describe the physical sensations
- Naming the fear or helplessness
- Revisiting the moment of breath loss or panic
Asking someone to “explain how it felt” too early can:
- Trigger anxiety or panic
- Cause dissociation or shutdown
- Bring back body memories without words
- Make the person feel unsafe in the room
This is why many survivors say:
“I know it happened, but I can’t talk about it without spiralling.”
Why Words Alone Are Often Not Enough
Trauma from strangulation is often stored non-verbally — in the body, breath, and nervous system — not as a clear narrative.
Trying to process it through conversation alone can feel like reliving the moment, rather than resolving it.
How EMDR Therapy Can Help
EMDR does not require detailed verbal recounting of the event.
It allows the trauma to be processed:
- Without reliving it
- Without having to describe every sensation
- At a pace that the nervous system can tolerate
EMDR helps the brain reprocess the memory so it is no longer experienced as a present-day threat. Over time, the emotional charge reduces, anxiety settles, and the memory becomes something that happened, not something that is happening again.
A Reassuring Truth
If talking about strangulation brings back anxiety, panic, or shutdown:
- You are not weak
- You are not “avoiding”
- You are responding normally to an abnormal threat
With the right therapeutic approach — including EMDR — this trauma can be worked through safely, without retraumatisation.
Healing does not come from forcing words.
It comes from restoring safety — first in the body, then in the mind.
