Yes, if ALL of the following are true:
- The disclosure arrived unsolicited
- It concerns your ex
- It may have legal relevance (financial, safety, coercive control, credibility)
- You do not want to engage with or assess it yourself
Your lawyer’s role is precisely to hold information so you don’t have to.
Why this is protective (neuroscience & psychology)
🧠 1. Cognitive offloading
- Stress impairs the prefrontal cortex (decision-making).
- Giving the material to your lawyer offloads cognitive and emotional burden.
- Your brain can return to regulation instead of vigilance.
This is healthy delegation, not avoidance.
🧠 2. Containment reduces trauma activation
Uncontained information keeps trauma circuits “open.”
A lawyer provides:
- Professional containment
- Clear boundaries
- No emotional processing requirement
Your nervous system needs closure, not more input.
🧠 3. Prevents role confusion
If you hold the information yourself, your brain may slide into:
- Responsibility
- Monitoring
- “What if?” loops
Passing it on restores correct roles:
- You: survivor / client
- Lawyer: assessor / gatekeeper
- Authorities: investigators
That alignment is stabilising neurologically.
HOW to pass it to your lawyer (this matters)
✅ What to send
- The message exactly as received
- Date received
- Who sent it
- How it arrived (email, letter, etc.)
🚫 What NOT to add
- No opinions
- No interpretation
- No emotional commentary
- No speculation about meaning or motive
A simple cover note is enough:
“This was sent to me unsolicited. I have not engaged. Please advise if any action is required on my part.”
That’s it.
What your lawyer will decide (not you)
Your lawyer will assess:
- Relevance
- Whether it should be retained
- Whether it should be forwarded to authorities
- Whether no action is required
Importantly:
Doing nothing can be a legally informed decision.
You don’t need to decide that — they do.
When NOT to pass it on immediately
You might wait (or ask your lawyer first) if:
- The disclosure is clearly unrelated
- It contains graphic detail (protect your wellbeing)
- You are currently dysregulated
In those cases, a brief heads-up first is fine:
“I’ve received an unsolicited disclosure. I haven’t opened it fully. How would you like me to handle it?”
Bottom line
Passing it to your lawyer is:
- ✔ Responsible
- ✔ Protective
- ✔ Non-inflammatory
- ✔ Nervous-system safe
You are not escalating.
You are containing.
You are also signalling:
“I am not the processor of this information.”
That’s psychologically and legally sound.
