“What You See Is Not What Is Happening”
Why People Jump to Assumptions — Neuroscience & Psychology
1. The brain is a pattern-completion machine
The human brain evolved to make fast judgments, not accurate ones.
When people see:
- a man and woman together
- under the same roof
- spending time in proximity
the brain automatically fills in the gaps using past social templates:
“Couple.” “Affair.” “Relationship.”
This is driven by the hippocampus and predictive coding networks, which prioritise familiar patterns over reality.
The brain asks:
“What does this look like based on what I already know?”
—not—
“What is actually happening here?”
2. Cognitive shortcuts replace thinking
This is called heuristic processing.
Instead of investigating nuance, people rely on:
- cultural scripts
- gossip norms
- stereotypes
- emotional assumptions
System 1 thinking (fast, emotional, lazy) overrides
System 2 thinking (slow, analytical, factual).
Once a story feels right, the brain stops questioning it.
3. Sexualisation bias in mixed-gender interactions
Neuroscience shows that many people over-attribute sexual meaning to male–female interactions because:
- Media primes the brain to see romance everywhere
- The amygdala reacts strongly to perceived social “threats”
- Projection of their own boundaries onto others
This says nothing about the people involved —
and everything about the observer’s limitations.
4. Projection: the mind exposing itself
People assume others are doing what they themselves would do.
This is psychological projection:
“If I couldn’t be friends without sexual involvement, then no one can.”
It reveals:
- emotional immaturity
- limited relational experience
- rigid thinking
Not insight.
5. Insular thinking feels like certainty
Shallow thinkers mistake confidence for knowledge.
Neuroscience shows that:
- Closed belief systems reduce cognitive discomfort
- Curiosity requires energy and emotional flexibility
- Judgement is cheaper than understanding
So people choose certainty over truth.
6. Reality requires humility
Truly intelligent perception requires:
- tolerance of ambiguity
- openness to multiple explanations
- awareness of one’s own blind spots
Most people don’t see —
they recognise patterns they already believe.
The psychological truth
Two adults can:
- live under the same roof
- work together
- support one another
- share space
without sexual involvement, romance, or relationship dynamics.
The assumption otherwise is not perception —
it is projection combined with cognitive laziness.
Final neuroscience takeaway
Judgement narrows the brain.
Curiosity expands it.
Those who jump to conclusions are not seeing more —
they are seeing less.
