Self-Assessment Tool: “Am I Too Trusting?”

(Score each item 0–3 and total your score at the end)

Scoring guide:
0 = Never
1 = Sometimes
2 = Often
3 = Almost always


SECTION 1 — EMOTIONAL OPENNESS & BONDING

These items reflect how fast and easily you emotionally connect.

  1. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt, even when I barely know them.
  2. I often assume others have good intentions, even without evidence.
  3. I share personal details early because I want to build closeness.
  4. I feel a strong pull toward people who show warmth or charm in the beginning.
  5. I feel guilty or rude if I don’t trust someone immediately.

SECTION 2 — BOUNDARIES & SCEPTICISM

These items reveal how well you protect yourself socially and emotionally.

  1. I struggle to say “no,” even when something feels uncomfortable.
  2. I avoid conflict, even when I should speak up.
  3. I ignore subtle red flags to “keep the peace.”
  4. I tolerate behaviour that hurts me because I hope the person will change.
  5. I assume someone’s explanation is true even when behaviour contradicts it.

SECTION 3 — PATTERN RECOGNITION

These items highlight the brain’s ability to connect dots and evaluate risk.

  1. I become attached to people before I really understand their character.
  2. I trust people’s words more than their actions.
  3. I tend to overlook patterns that show someone is unreliable or self-centred.
  4. I stay too long in relationships because I want to believe the best.
  5. I often realise “the signs were there” only in hindsight.

SECTION 4 — VULNERABILITY TO MANIPULATION

These items reflect susceptibility to charm, flattery, or emotional hooks.

  1. I feel special when someone gives me intense attention early on.
  2. I bond quickly with people who seem to “need” me.
  3. I excuse bad behaviour if someone has a sad story or difficult past.
  4. I find it hard to withdraw trust once I’ve given it — even when I should.
  5. I am more influenced by emotions than by logic when forming relationships.

⭐ How to Score

Add up your total across all 20 items.

0–20: Healthy Trust Balance

You’re warm but discerning.
You trust realistically and protect yourself well.
Your brain uses both empathy systems and caution circuits effectively.

21–35: Mild Overtrusting Tendencies

You are fundamentally kind and open, but you may miss early inconsistencies.
With small adjustments (slower trust, clearer boundaries), you become very resilient.

36–50: Highly Trusting — Vulnerable to Manipulation

Your trusting nature is beautiful, but predators, narcissists, and exploitative people will see it as an entry point.
Focus on strengthening your prefrontal “gatekeeper”: patterns, boundaries, time-based assessment.

51–60: Chronically Overtrusting — Self-Protection Necessary

You lead with the heart, generosity, and empathy…
But your brain’s caution systems (ACC, prefrontal cortex) may be under-engaged.
This makes you an easy target for charm, intensity, or flattery.

Important:
This does not mean you should trust less — just that you should trust slower and with evidence, not emotion alone.


⭐ Next Steps Based on Neuroscience

If your score is high, the recommended approach is:

1. Slow the Pace

Oxytocin spikes through closeness → slow the bonding process.

2. Watch Behaviour, Not Words

Reward pathways love promises — look for patterns.

3. Use “Wait for consistency” as your new rule

Even manipulative people can act good briefly.
Consistency reveals character.

4. Build micro-boundaries

Small limits filter out unsafe personalities early.

5. Let your logical brain have a vote

Your emotional brain is beautiful — now give the prefrontal cortex equal power.


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