Leaving an abusive man is a bit like taking off a pair of shoes that never fit:
you don’t realise how much they were cutting off your circulation until your toes start dancing again.
For years, I lived in a world where joy was rationed, laughter was suspicious, and fun was only allowed if it made HIM look good.
Imagine living with a human smoke alarm that goes off every time you breathe “too loudly.”
That was my marriage.
And then I left.
And suddenly… everything became hilarious.
1. The first thing I noticed? Silence.
Beautiful, golden silence.
No lectures at 6am.
No moody stomping.
No “Why did you put the milk on the wrong shelf?” interrogations.
Just silence.
I swear my nervous system threw a party.
2. The second thing? I laughed.
Not the polite “don’t upset him” laugh.
No — the REAL laugh.
The one that comes from your belly, shakes your shoulders, and scares the cat.
The laugh that had been held hostage for years.
3. Then I remembered what fun feels like.
Suddenly I had:
- friends again
- hobbies again
- a personality again
- a favourite colour again
- a sense of humour again
I didn’t need permission to enjoy myself.
I didn’t have to explain why I bought a croissant.
I didn’t need to time my happiness for someone else’s emotional weather forecast.
Fun became my new religion.
4. I also rediscovered something magical: sleep.
Sleep without someone interrupting it.
Sleep without someone sulking beside you.
Sleep without someone saying, “Are you going to sleep already?”
(Yes. Yes, I am. Watch me.)
Eight hours of uninterrupted rest feels illegal after an abusive marriage.
5. Even grocery shopping became a celebration.
Walking down the aisle thinking:
“WOW, look at me buying things without an audit.”
Double cream?
Into the trolley.
Old-fashioned lemonade?
Let’s live dangerously.
A scented candle?
Call the police, I’m out of control.
6. And don’t get me started on dancing.
Music on.
Kitchen floor.
Absolutely no audience judging the rhythm of your hips.
Best event of the year.
7. The biggest surprise?
I actually LIKE myself.
Turns out I’m funny.
Turns out I’m warm.
Turns out I’m capable.
Turns out I’m… happy.
Who knew?
8. So yes — if you’re wondering whether life gets better…
Let me put it this way:
I left darkness.
I found myself.
And I found fun — LOTS of it.
Leaving an abusive husband didn’t just save my life…
It returned it to me.
And I cannot recommend it highly enough.
