Let’s say this clearly:
No one walking this earth is God.
No one has divine authority over your life.
No one has the right to judge your healing, your choices, or your joy.
People will judge anyway — but what matters is understanding why they do it and why it has nothing to do with you.
Here’s the psychology and neuroscience behind judgment, freedom, and emotional self-ownership:
🧠 1. Judgement Comes From Their Brain, Not Your Behaviour
When someone judges you harshly, it’s usually because their brain is running an insecure script.
Judgment is triggered by:
- Amygdala activation (fear, threat perception)
- Ego defense mechanisms (protecting their identity)
- Projection (placing their own issues onto you)
- Cognitive rigidity (inability to accept different choices or lifestyles)
Your behaviour did not cause this.
Their internal world did.
🔍 2. Projection: The Oldest Psychological Trick in the Book
Freud was right about one thing:
People criticize in others what they’re uncomfortable with in themselves.
If they judge your freedom, it’s because:
- They aren’t free.
- They’re stuck.
- They’re scared.
- They’ve lived their life according to fear, not choice.
Your freedom exposes their confinement.
And instead of expanding, they attack.
🧩 3. Moral Superiority: A False Sense of Power
People who judge harshly are often using moral superiority as a psychological shield.
It gives a fake sense of:
- control
- authority
- safety
- identity
- certainty
But this “superiority” is actually covering:
- insecurity
- fear of change
- envy
- dissatisfaction with their own life
They use judgment to elevate themselves because they don’t know how to elevate their own life.
🌱 4. Healthy, Secure People Don’t Judge — They Understand
From a neuroscience perspective, emotionally regulated people have:
- higher prefrontal cortex activation (logic, empathy, self-reflection)
- lower amygdala reactivity (fear, anger, defensiveness)
- better emotional regulation
- higher psychological flexibility
These people don’t judge you.
They:
- ask questions
- show curiosity
- respect your autonomy
- celebrate your growth
Judgment is a sign of emotional immaturity.
Respect is a sign of emotional intelligence.
🔥 5. You’re Free Because You Choose to Be — Not Because They Approve
Psychology calls this internal locus of control.
Emotionally strong people live from:
- their own values
- their own choices
- their own intuition
- their own healing path
Your freedom comes from within you.
Not from permission.
Not from approval.
Not from conformity.
No one has the authority to define your life unless you hand them the pen.
💛 6. “LET THEM.” The Most Powerful Words in Emotional Mastery
When someone judges you?
Let them.
Why?
Because:
- their judgment does not alter your truth
- their opinion does not dictate your value
- their fears do not limit your destiny
- their narrative does not rewrite your story
Let them judge.
Let them misunderstand.
Let them gossip.
Let them project.
Because you’re not living their life —
and they are not qualified to live yours.
✨ Final Truth
You are free.
You are allowed to shape your own life.
You are allowed to heal in your own way.
You are allowed to date, laugh, explore, enjoy, grow, and expand.
No human being has the spiritual, moral, or psychological authority to stand above you and declare judgment.
They are not God.
They are not your judge.
They are not your destiny.
They are simply spectators — and you are the one living the life.
By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment ©Linda C J Turner
