When someone lies — especially when the truth threatens their self-image — their brain enters a defensive survival mode.
- Amygdala activation (the fear and threat center) increases when a person fears shame, exposure, or loss of control.
- Prefrontal cortex (responsible for rational thought and honesty) may shut down or twist logic to maintain a sense of safety.
- The brain releases stress hormones (like cortisol) and even dopamine, because “getting away with it” gives a brief reward — reinforcing deceit as a habit.
So, lies aren’t always planned — they can be neural self-preservation in action.
🧩 Psychology: Protecting the Ego
From a psychological point of view, contradiction and story-changing often come from ego defense mechanisms:
| Mechanism | What it means | How it shows up |
|---|---|---|
| Cognitive dissonance | The brain hates holding two conflicting beliefs | They change the story to make it “fit” emotionally |
| Projection | Offloading their own flaws onto you | “You’re being manipulative” (when they are) |
| Gaslighting | Undermining your reality to feel in control | They shift facts and insult your intelligence |
| Narcissistic defense | Refusing vulnerability or accountability | Contradictions, rewriting history, and smug dismissals |
In short: They lie to protect their fragile sense of self, not to seek truth. Insulting your intelligence is a way to reassert dominance when they subconsciously feel exposed.
🧬 Why They Keep Changing the Story
- Memory reconstruction: Our brains don’t store memories like videos — we recreate them. People who lie often overwrite past fabrications until they half-believe their new version.
- Social calibration: They change the story to see which version “sticks” or gets the least resistance.
- Control through confusion: Keeping you off-balance ensures they remain the authority.
💔 Why It Feels So Personal
Being lied to — especially repeatedly — triggers the same neural pain circuits as physical injury.
The anterior cingulate cortex lights up when trust is broken, and the insula (linked to disgust and betrayal) activates strongly.
That’s why your body literally feels the insult — it’s not “too sensitive”; it’s neurobiologically real.
🧘♀️ What to Remember
- Their contradictions reveal inner chaos, not your inadequacy.
- Trying to reason with a brain defending its ego is like arguing with a locked alarm system.
- Protect your own prefrontal integrity — stay grounded in facts and avoid emotional baiting.
