When Kindness Feels Foreign After Surviving Abuse
Sometimes the scariest thing isn’t being hurt again — it’s being loved gently for the first time.
When you’re used to chaos, to walking on eggshells, to love laced with fear or control…
Kindness can feel like a trap.
Safety can feel suspicious.
Peace can feel unnerving.
You catch yourself searching for cracks, waiting for the mask to slip.
You look for the problem — because surely it’s coming.
Because in your past, love was never just love. It came with a price.
🫧 But Then… Something Feels Different
You see it in their eyes — that steady warmth.
You feel it in their presence — that calm, unshifting ground.
They don’t rush you.
They don’t punish you for being cautious.
They don’t take your fear personally — they understand it.
And suddenly, you’re not reacting from fear…
You’re feeling.
Truly feeling.
Even after the passion quiets down, the connection lingers.
There’s still depth. Still care. Still something real.
And that — that’s the scariest part of all.
🌱 Getting Used to Gentle
You never had to learn how to survive in a storm — you just did it.
But now?
Now you’re learning how to relax in the sun.
You’re not used to softness that doesn’t have strings attached.
To hands that only hold — not hurt.
To eyes that see your soul, not your usefulness.
To someone who doesn’t punish your silence or exploit your past.
It feels foreign.
But also… right.
And piece by piece, your nervous system begins to uncoil.
Your heart begins to believe.
And you start to think: Maybe this isn’t a trick. Maybe this is love.
🌼 It’s Okay If It Takes Time
If you’re scared — you’re not broken.
If you flinch at kindness — you’re not ungrateful.
If you overthink, pull away, or try to sabotage what’s good — it’s not because you’re flawed.
It’s because you’ve been through hell, and your heart is still learning that it’s safe now.
🕯️ Let It Be Real. Let It Be New.
This isn’t like before.
You’re not who you were.
This love isn’t here to control or confuse you.
It’s here to hold you steady while you heal.
So take your time.
Breathe into it.
Let it surprise you.
Let it show you that love can be a sanctuary, not a battlefield.
That connection can feel like coming home, not walking on fire.
You deserve gentle.
You deserve safe.
You deserve real.
