🌪️ PREPARING FOR DIVORCE: YOUR EVIDENCE & EMPOWERMENT CHECKLIST

⚖️ 1. LEGAL & FINANCIAL PREPARATION (External Strength)

🔍 Collect Financial Evidence

✅ Gather all bank statements (joint and personal) for the last 12–24 months.
✅ Search for signs of hidden accounts, withdrawals, or suspicious transfers.
✅ Document any new credit cards or loans taken out in your name or without consent.
✅ Take screenshots of online banking if paper statements are unavailable.
✅ Check for cryptocurrency wallets or investment accounts.

📂 Secure Important Documents

✅ Marriage certificate, prenup/postnup (if applicable)
✅ Birth certificates (children and your own), passports, ID copies
✅ Tax returns (last 3–5 years)
✅ Property deeds, mortgage statements, rental agreements
✅ Insurance policies (life, home, car, medical)
✅ Car ownership and registration papers
✅ Pension or superannuation records

🧾 Track Shared Assets & Liabilities

✅ Inventory all property, vehicles, jewelry, electronics, heirlooms
✅ Note any valuable or sentimental items taken or “disappeared”
✅ Log household purchases and shared expenses
✅ List any debts in your name and his (credit cards, loans, business debts)

🎥 2. EVIDENCE OF ABUSE OR MISCONDUCT

📸 Photos & Videos

✅ Take photographs of injuries, damaged property, or evidence of control (e.g., locks, security cameras, broken phones).
✅ Save screenshots of texts, emails, or social media threats.
✅ Record surveillance footage if you have home cameras or can access any recordings (legally).
✅ Photograph your home environment if it supports your narrative (e.g., rooms you weren’t allowed to enter, isolation).

🎙️ Voice Recordings

✅ Safely record conversations that demonstrate abuse, threats, gaslighting, or coercive control — if it’s legal in your country.
✅ Label recordings with date, time, and context for future reference.

📋 Written Evidence

✅ Keep a daily journal (paper or digital) detailing incidents — emotional, financial, sexual, and physical abuse.
✅ Include dates, how it made you feel, and any aftermath.
✅ Save any emails or messages where they admit fault, apologize, or manipulate you.

🧠 Witnesses

✅ List witnesses who have seen abuse or questionable behavior — friends, neighbors, professionals.
✅ Ask if they’d be willing to write a statement or speak for you (gently, without pressure).

🧠 3. EMOTIONAL & INTERNAL PREPARATION (Inner Strength)

🛡️ Build Your Support System

✅ Find a therapist or trauma-informed coach you trust.
✅ Join a support group — online or in person — for survivors or divorcing individuals.
✅ Have a few trusted friends or family members you can call when overwhelmed.
✅ If it’s not safe to talk openly, use code words or private group chats.

🧘‍♀️ Reclaim Your Peace

✅ Start a healing journal to process your grief, rage, and clarity.
✅ Practice nervous system regulation: breathwork, nature walks, tapping (EFT), calming music, etc.
✅ Make a list of what you are looking forward to post-divorce — a vision for your new life.
✅ List what you will no longer tolerate. Write your non-negotiables.

💼 Personal Safety Plan

✅ Change passwords for email, banking, and social media.
✅ Get a PO Box or change your mailing address if needed.
✅ Store evidence in the cloud or on an encrypted USB drive.
✅ If needed, file a restraining order or alert authorities to any stalking, threats, or intimidation.

📑 4. COURT & LAWYER PREPARATION

🧑‍⚖️ Working With Your Lawyer

✅ Choose a solicitor experienced in high-conflict or abuse-related divorce.
✅ Bring all evidence sorted by category (abuse, finance, parenting, communication).
✅ Ask about legal aid, protective measures, and non-contact options for court dates.
✅ Practice your statement and key points for clarity and confidence.
✅ Prepare to stay calm and document everything, even if they lie in court — it happens often.

🔁 5. ORGANIZE YOUR MATERIALS

✅ Create folders labeled:
- Finance
- Communication
- Abuse Evidence
- Legal Documents
- Parenting / Custody (if relevant)
- Health / Therapy
✅ Keep both a hard copy and a digital backup (cloud or encrypted USB).
✅ Use a timeline format for your abuse log, so events are easy to follow chronologically.
✅ Back everything up on a secure platform with restricted access (e.g., Google Drive, Dropbox, ProtonDrive).

💬 Final Reminder

You are not being dramatic. You are being prepared.
Divorce is not just an ending — it’s the opening to your future. Gathering this information isn’t about revenge; it’s about truth, safety, and closure.

Even if your ex is charming in public, courts will often only see what you can prove. Documentation is your power. Stay calm. Stay grounded. Get support.