🔐 1. Secure Storage First
Before you start collecting:
- Set up a secure, private folder (on your computer or an encrypted cloud drive).
- Consider using a flash drive or external hard drive for offline storage.
- Use a strong password and avoid storing evidence on shared or easily accessed devices.
- Consider using a secure documentation app (like MySafetyApp, DocuSafe, or Evernote with encryption).
💬 2. Text & Messaging Evidence
- SMS texts: Screenshot abusive or threatening messages.
- WhatsApp/iMessage/Signal/Facebook Messenger: Save full conversations with dates and names.
- Highlight messages that show coercion, manipulation, gaslighting, or threats.
- Export full chat histories if possible (many apps allow this).
- [Optional]: Record your interpretation or memory of the context around key messages.
📧 3. Emails
- Save or screenshot any abusive, controlling, or threatening emails.
- Include any emails from others involved (e.g., friends, family, enablers).
- Save emails showing financial control, insurance fraud, or medical deception.
- If relevant, capture email headers (to prove authenticity or location).
📞 4. Call Logs & Voicemails
- Screenshot call history showing frequency, late-night calls, or harassment.
- Save or transcribe voicemails, especially if they contain threats or manipulation.
- Note blocked numbers or burner phones used to contact you.
📸 5. Photos & Videos
- Save photos or videos of injuries, damaged property, or living conditions.
- Save photos of indecent images if shared or taken without consent — only if you are safe to do so.
- Preserve metadata (date/time/location info) when possible.
- Backup evidence to a safe device or cloud, and consider creating a copy for legal counsel.
🧭 6. Social Media Evidence
- Screenshot public posts (even if deleted later) that reference or target you.
- Document new girlfriend/partner posts if used to harass, flaunt, or shame.
- Save comments or messages that show triangulation, threats, or smear campaigns.
- Track any fake accounts or impersonation profiles.
- Take note of who “likes,” supports, or encourages abusive behavior — this can help identify enablers.
🧑💻 7. Device Access & Hacking
- Record any signs of phone or device tampering.
- Save screenshots of unauthorized logins to your accounts (check Gmail/Apple/Social login history).
- Save logs of location tracking, spyware, or security breach alerts.
- If applicable, get a tech forensics report or consult a cyber expert (some legal teams can provide this).
💰 8. Financial Abuse or Fraud
- Save bank statements showing unexplained transactions or control over finances.
- Document how they used your name for health insurance, loans, or fraud.
- Keep copies of bills left unpaid, especially ones they benefitted from.
- Include any texts/emails proving they admitted to or arranged these.
📓 9. Personal Journal or Timeline
- Keep a written log or timeline of events — what happened, when, where, and who was involved.
- Include your emotional responses and any impact on your mental health.
- This shows pattern, escalation, and psychological toll, which courts now increasingly acknowledge.
🛑 10. Safety First
- Do not confront the abuser about evidence collection.
- Turn off device syncing if you suspect they have access to your accounts.
- Use incognito mode or safe browsing tools.
- Inform a trusted person (friend, therapist, lawyer) that you’re gathering evidence, and store a backup with them if safe.
🔒 Extra Tips
- Use date-stamping tools like Dropbox, OneDrive, or Notary apps to prove when files were saved.
- Organize evidence into folders by theme (e.g., “text abuse,” “financial manipulation,” “indecent images,” etc.).
- Consider creating a summary document for each category explaining what the evidence shows.
- Keep multiple backups in case of theft or sabotage.
