Have you ever had one of those moments—when trauma hits like a wave out of nowhere—and someone you barely know responds in exactly the right way?
No judgment. No awkward questions. No minimising.
Just calm presence, steady words, and a sense of safety that wraps around you like a blanket.
It’s as if they see you, not just the surface but the internal storm too. And without prying, fixing, or assuming, they gently anchor you back to the present moment.
These people are rare.
And they are gold.
From a psychological perspective, what’s happening in those powerful moments is more than just kindness. It’s attuned empathy—the ability to pick up on emotional cues, to observe body language, tone of voice, facial expressions, and even subtle shifts in energy. These individuals aren’t just responding with sympathy; they’re tuning into your nervous system, often without even realising it.
Trauma triggers activate the brain’s amygdala—the part responsible for threat detection—and can throw someone into a fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response. In that moment, logic often goes offline, and the body is flooded with stress hormones. What we need then is regulation, not reasoning.
And here’s where the empathic person becomes a lifeline.
By staying grounded themselves, by speaking slowly, gently, and with compassion, they offer what therapists call co-regulation. This is the process by which one nervous system helps to calm another. It’s how babies learn to self-soothe, and it’s something we still deeply need in adulthood—especially when we’re healing from trauma.
What makes it even more beautiful is that some of these people haven’t known you long. They haven’t read your file, studied your past, or heard every detail of your pain. But they have listened—truly listened. They’ve observed. And they’ve taken you seriously.
That kind of presence is healing in itself.
If you’re one of those people—thank you. You may not realise the impact of your quiet empathy, but to someone in the grip of a trauma response, your steadiness can mean the difference between spiralling into panic or slowly finding their breath again.
And if you’ve received that kind of support—if someone has instinctively known how to calm your racing heart and remind you that you’re safe—take a moment to feel the gratitude. These connections are a reminder that while trauma may have come from relationships, so does healing.
The world needs more of this.
More compassion. More awareness. More people who show up, not with answers, but with presence.
Let’s celebrate the ones who don’t need years of history to hold space for someone’s pain.
They just get it.
And they are the quiet heroes of our healing journeys.
— Linda C J Turner
Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment
