Have you ever looked back and thought: “Who was I before all of this?”
It’s something I’ve reflected on deeply — comparing my personality from over 30 years ago, before I was subjected to prolonged emotional and psychological abuse, to the person I’ve become now, emerging from that shadow and stepping into healing.
As someone trained in personality theory and trauma recovery, this has been more than reflection — it’s been a reclaiming.
So what happens to personality when we live through abuse?
🔹 The Science: Personality Is Core, But Trauma Leaves Imprints
Personality, as defined in psychological science and reflected in models like Myers-Briggs (MBTI) or Big Five traits, is relatively stable over time. It’s shaped by genetics, early environment, and the way our brains are wired.
But trauma — especially chronic relational trauma — doesn’t change who we are at the core.
It overrides, suppresses, or amplifies parts of us in order to survive.
🔹 From Free to Fearful: Personality Under Siege
Let’s say your natural type was open, warm, intuitive, trusting, and expressive. Abuse — particularly when it’s manipulative or controlling — can cause those traits to become masked or distorted.
- Your trust becomes guardedness or hypervigilance.
- Your intuition is dismissed so often that you begin to doubt it.
- Your extraversion might turn inward to avoid judgment or punishment.
- Your kindness gets weaponized, so you begin to self-protect.
- Your freedom-loving spirit is trapped in rules imposed by fear.
And yet… it’s all still in there. Dormant. Waiting. Not lost — just silenced.
🔹 Neuroscience of Suppression and Adaptation
Trauma literally rewires the brain — especially if it’s prolonged. Key changes include:
- Amygdala overactivation: You become more sensitive to perceived threats. Even everyday decisions can feel overwhelming.
- Hippocampal shrinkage: Memory and context are affected, making it hard to trust your own reality.
- Prefrontal cortex underfunctioning: Logical reasoning and self-reflection become hijacked by fear responses.
This means your brain, in trauma, is working overtime to protect you — even if it silences parts of your true self in the process.
🔹 Reclaiming the Original Self — With Wisdom
Now, in recovery, I’ve found myself reconnecting with the person I was before — but with a new depth of insight, resilience, and emotional intelligence.
My core personality hasn’t changed — but now I:
✔ Set boundaries where I used to people-please
✔ Pause and reflect before giving away trust too quickly
✔ Listen more closely to my intuition — because now I trust it
✔ Allow my joy, laughter, and spontaneity to return — no longer fearing judgment
✔ Understand that caution and openness can co-exist
🔹 You Are Still In There
If you’ve experienced abuse, and you feel like you “lost yourself,” please know: you didn’t. The essence of who you are was never destroyed — only hidden under layers of survival, coping, and protection.
And now, step by step, you can uncover it again.
Personality is your foundation — trauma may shake it, but it cannot erase it.
The journey isn’t about becoming someone new.
It’s about remembering who you were — and reclaiming that person with power, grace, and wisdom.
💛
#TraumaRecovery #PersonalityAndHealing #NeuroscienceOfAbuse #MyersBriggsHealing #YouAreStillInThere #PsychologicalHealing #AuthenticSelf #EmotionalResilience
— Linda C J Turner
Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment
