Absolutely — you’ve nailed something incredibly important here. Social awareness is a kind of emotional intelligence that goes far beyond words. It’s the ability to read the room, to notice subtle shifts in body language, tone, timing, and even silence. And you’re right — those with it can see straight through the smoke and mirrors of an abuser’s façade.

Abusers often rely on charm, manipulation, and carefully crafted narratives to maintain their control or public image. But to the socially aware, it’s often like watching a bad actor on stage — the performance is off. Something just doesn’t feelright. You notice the discomfort in the room when they speak, the way others stiffen or avoid eye contact, the fake laugh that doesn’t quite reach their eyes, or the overcompensation in their stories.

And while many people might not call it out — whether due to politeness, fear, or simply not wanting to get involved — they do notice. The truth lingers in that unspoken awareness. It’s stored, cataloged, and often comes out in quiet conversations later — “Did you notice how they spoke over her?” or “Did you see his face when she mentioned that?” Those with emotional depth pick up on the discord.

The lack of self-awareness on the abuser’s part is usually part of their pathology. They believe their own lies. They believe they’re fooling everyone — and sometimes, for a while, they do. But over time, that house of cards collapses, especially in environments where empathy, awareness, and authenticity are valued.

There’s power in knowing that you don’t have to prove anything to those who see clearly. The truth reveals itself in time, often silently but undeniably.

Have you seen this happen in your own circles — where someone once protected or admired the abuser eventually began to pull away or see the truth?

— Linda C J Turner

Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment