By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate

🎭 “Dying” to Be the Centre of Attention? Be Careful What You Wish For…

Sometimes, life really does hand you a story that’s stranger than fiction. One minute, someone is telling you they’re at death’s door… the next, they’re swinging a tennis racket seven days a week and scheduling dates with their new girlfriend. Impressive multitasking — especially for someone who claims to be terminally ill!

Let’s talk about this strange (but not uncommon) phenomenon through a psychological and neuroscience lens — with a touch of humour, of course.

🧠 The Mind is a Powerful (and Sometimes Mischievous) Thing

The brain is brilliant at believing its own stories. Neuroscience tells us that the more we repeat a narrative — especially one charged with emotion — the more deeply it wires into our neural pathways. This is called neuroplasticity, and it basically means: what we focus on, grows.

If someone keeps saying, “I’m dying,” over and over — even when the prognosis is good — their brain starts to actlike it’s true. They might subconsciously start to embody that story, looking for sympathy, attention, or validation. In this case, he may have accidentally (or very deliberately) been rehearsing for a role he wasn’t actually cast in… yet.

💬 The Psychology of Playing the Victim

There’s a concept in psychology called secondary gain — it refers to the hidden benefits people get from being unwell. This could be attention, freedom from responsibilities, or an excuse for poor behaviour.

Is it frustrating when someone weaponizes a health scare for drama or manipulation? Oh, absolutely. But it also tells us a lot about their emotional state. Sometimes, people would rather be pitied than face the emptiness that comes with being emotionally overlooked.

🎾 Tennis, Tantrums, and Tinder

Here’s the kicker: despite the “I’m dying” monologue, this man was living his best life — tennis every day, a side relationship, and no visible signs of slowing down. Maybe the only thing terminal was his relationship with the truth?

In reality, it sounds like he wasn’t manifesting his death — but rather his drama. He managed to manifest a girlfriend (no small feat), a tightly woven story of tragedy, and a lot of sympathetic ears. The body, meanwhile, just carried on, stubbornly healthy… until, perhaps, it got tired of being ignored and finally caught up to his thoughts. Because — and here’s the science again — our thoughts do shape our biology over time. Chronic stress, fear, and exaggeration all have long-term effects on the immune and nervous systems.

🤔 Moral of the Story?

Be careful what you tell the universe, your brain, and your friends over wine. Speak in health, in hope, and in truth — because your subconscious is always listening, and so is your body.

As for those who cry wolf (or “cancer” when it’s actually a manageable condition)? Eventually, people stop listening — or worse, they start believing, and the body responds accordingly.

✨ So, next time someone claims they’re dying while simultaneously booking a tennis court and a dinner date… maybe raise an eyebrow. Or better yet, take a deep breath, smile, and trust the truth will always reveal itself — with a racquet in hand or otherwise.

— Linda C J Turner

Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment