If It Happened to Your Mother, Daughter, Sister, Cousin or Best Friend — What Would You Say Then?
(A message from a trauma-informed perspective)

Let’s stop for a moment and ask the question no one seems brave enough to answer honestly:

How would you feel if what happened to me… happened to your mother?
Your daughter?
Your sister?
Your cousin?
Your best friend?

Would you still ask her to “be kind,” to “forgive and forget,” or to “keep the peace”?
Would you suggest she should have handled things differently?
Would you expect her to stand in a room full of people who invalidated her pain and remain silent?

Because that’s what many survivors are expected to do.

But here’s the truth from both a psychological and neuroscience standpoint:
The brain does not heal in the presence of ongoing threat.
When a person has lived through trauma—especially relational trauma like emotional abuse, gaslighting, and betrayal by those closest to them—the nervous system becomes hypervigilant. The amygdala, our brain’s smoke detector, stays switched on. Cortisol levels spike. The body learns to expect danger, even when the threat isn’t physical.

This isn’t drama.
It’s neurobiology.

So when I say that I will never trust one single member of his family again, I am not acting out of anger.
I am acting out of survival.
My body, my mind, and my heart have learned that proximity to these individuals equals harm. My trauma responses are not overreactions — they are finely tuned warning systems, hardwired by experience.

From a psychological perspective, trust is built on safety.
And safety is built on consistency, compassion, and accountability.
If none of these have been offered, there is no foundation for healing — only re-injury.

And let me be clear:
If any of them ever come near me, I will have no hesitation in going directly to the Guardia Civil.
That is not a threat. It is a boundary.
It is the neuroscientific antidote to trauma — the active reclaiming of agency in an environment where I was once made to feel powerless.

So again, I ask you:

If this happened to someone you love — someone who matters to you deeply — how would you respond?
Would you support her decision to walk away, to protect herself, to speak her truth?
Or would you ask her to stay silent, just to make others comfortable?

I’ve done my work. I’ve processed, reflected, grieved, healed — and now I protect.
This next chapter is about peace.
About nervous system regulation.
About real connection.
And about truth.

To every survivor reading this: your boundaries are valid.
Your nervous system isn’t broken — it’s brilliant.
And you deserve to feel safe, loved, and believed. Always.

#TraumaInformedHealing #EmotionalAbuseSurvivor #NeuroscienceOfHealing #BoundariesAreHealing #SurvivorWisdom #NoMoreSilence #PolyvagalTheory #EMDR #PsychologicalSafety #YouAreNotAlone #WomenSupportingWomen