By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate
When someone lies repeatedly — especially to protect their own abusive behavior or manipulate how others perceive them — several parts of the brain are involved:
1. Amygdala Desensitization
The amygdala is the part of the brain that triggers emotional responses like guilt, fear, or anxiety.
Studies have shown that each time a person lies, the amygdala activates. But with repeated lying, this response weakens over time.
👉 The brain literally becomes desensitized to guilt.
👉 The emotional discomfort that should serve as a moral compass gets numbed out.
This means the more they lie, the easier it becomes — not because it’s true, but because their emotional brakes have worn down.
2. Prefrontal Cortex Hijack
The prefrontal cortex is responsible for decision-making, logic, and self-regulation. Chronic liars use this part of the brain to:
- Plan lies in advance
- Manage different versions of the truth
- Keep track of what they’ve told to whom
Over time, this mental juggling act creates cognitive strain, which can lead to:
- Heightened anxiety
- Paranoia
- Emotional exhaustion
- Identity confusion
They become performers in their own life, constantly managing the image, rather than living in truth.
🧠Psychologically: Living a Lie Destroys Inner Stability
1. Disintegration of the Self
When someone builds their world around lies — especially lies that justify or mask abuse — they create a false self.
But the true self doesn’t disappear.
It gets buried. Ignored. Rejected.
This internal split can lead to:
- Chronic shame (even if it’s buried under arrogance)
- Anxiety or depression
- Emotional numbness
- Inability to form authentic connections
On some level, the liar knows they’re being dishonest — and that awareness eats away at their sense of integrity, even if they don’t admit it outwardly.
2. Projection & Blame-Shifting
To protect their fragile ego, many chronic liars resort to:
- Blame-shifting: “It’s your fault I lied.”
- Gaslighting: “You’re imagining things.”
- Victim-playing: “I’m the one who’s been hurt.”
These defense mechanisms are used to avoid facing their own shame, but in doing so, they sacrifice empathy, growth, and intimacy. They wall themselves off from true accountability — and therefore from true healing.
3. Internal Chaos and Emotional Isolation
Living behind a mask may fool others, but it creates deep emotional isolation.
No one really knows the liar — not even themselves.
They often feel:
- Empty
- Reactive
- Hyper-defensive
- Disconnected from any genuine emotion or intimacy
That isolation can become unbearable, which is why some double down on the lies — trying to outrun the very shame they’re creating.
💡 In the End…
Lying to protect abuse is a trauma of its own kind — not just for the victim, but also for the abuser who fractures their own psyche in the process.
Chronic deception may offer a temporary escape from consequences, but it erodes the liar from within.
It severs them from truth, from love, and from themselves.
Eventually, the false world they built becomes a prison — one that isolates them from reality and denies them the very things they crave: connection, peace, and authenticity.
— Linda C J Turner
Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment
