By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate
There’s a powerful phrase that echoes through spiritual teachings, self-help circles, and even casual conversation: “What you put out into the world, you attract back.” While some dismiss it as wishful thinking or metaphysical fluff, modern psychology and neuroscience suggest that there may be more truth in this than we first imagined.
It turns out that our thoughts, emotions, energy, and behavior have real, measurable impacts—not only on our personal experiences but also on the people we attract, the opportunities we create, and the emotional climate we live in. Let’s explore how this idea stands up when seen through the lens of science and the soul.
1. The Psychological Mirror: We Teach the World How to Treat Us
In psychology, there’s a concept called reciprocal determinism, developed by Albert Bandura. It suggests that our behavior, environment, and personal characteristics all interact and influence each other. Simply put: how we show up in the world shapes how the world responds to us.
If you move through life guarded, distrustful, and expecting rejection, you may (unintentionally) behave in ways that push people away—confirming your original belief. Conversely, when you approach people with openness, kindness, and authenticity, you often invite similar qualities in return.
Psychologically, we are also meaning-making creatures. Our brains are wired to notice patterns that reinforce our beliefs. If you believe people are generally good, you’re more likely to notice acts of kindness. If you believe people are cruel, your brain will filter in more of the painful stuff. This is called confirmation bias—and it shapes our entire experience of the world.
2. Emotional Contagion and Mirror Neurons: The Neuroscience of Energy
The energy we emit—through our tone, facial expressions, body language, and emotional state—is deeply contagious. Neuroscience tells us that humans are biologically wired to sync with the emotions of others. This is thanks to a system in the brain called mirror neurons.
Mirror neurons are activated both when we perform an action and when we observe someone else doing it. They help us feel what others are feeling and are key players in empathy and social connection. So, if you show up with calmness and warmth, the people around you are more likely to reflect that energy back to you. If you’re anxious or reactive, you may inadvertently trigger that in others.
This is not about being fake or pretending to be positive all the time—it’s about recognizing the profound influence our emotional state has on our relationships, environment, and interactions.
3. Neuroplasticity: You Can Rewire What You Attract
One of the most hopeful discoveries in neuroscience is that our brains are plastic—they can change. This means we’re not locked into old thought patterns, emotional habits, or relationship dynamics. Through intentional focus and repetition, we can create new neural pathways and change how we show up in the world.
If you’ve spent years putting out self-protection, fear, or people-pleasing because of past trauma, it’s not your fault—but it is within your power to heal it. Practices like mindfulness, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), trauma therapy, and somatic work help us become conscious of our unconscious patterns and shift them at a neurological level.
When you begin to embody new beliefs—I am worthy of love, I deserve respect, I am safe now—you start to attract people and experiences that affirm those beliefs. The brain learns by experience, and the more you show up aligned with your true self, the more the world meets you there.
4. The Law of Resonance: Vibrational Psychology
While the “Law of Attraction” has gained popularity through books like The Secret, it’s often misunderstood as simply thinking positively to get what you want. But a more grounded interpretation is the Law of Resonance, which suggests that we attract experiences that resonate with our emotional frequency.
Think of this in psychological terms: if you’re vibrating in self-worth, you’re less likely to tolerate disrespect. If you’re radiating hope and openness, people who are emotionally closed off or cynical may simply not feel aligned with you anymore. This isn’t magic—it’s resonance.
Trauma healing plays a huge role here. If we’ve been wounded, especially in childhood, we may unconsciously emit energy that seeks to re-enact those wounds. But as we heal, our resonance changes—and so does what we draw into our lives.
5. Practical Ways to Shift What You Attract
So how do we begin to put out what we truly want to receive back? Here are a few science-backed and soul-nourishing steps:
1. Cultivate self-awareness.
Notice the energy you carry into situations. Are you defensive? Are you overgiving to be liked? Are you guarded or open? Becoming aware of your emotional baseline is the first step toward change.
2. Practice self-compassion.
Your inner dialogue becomes your emotional tone. Talk to yourself like someone you love, and others will often mirror that love back to you.
3. Engage in nervous system regulation.
When your nervous system is calm, you’re more likely to respond than react. Practices like deep breathing, grounding, and trauma-informed therapy help keep your emotional energy balanced and inviting.
4. Set energetic boundaries.
You attract what you allow. Saying no to what doesn’t serve you is one of the most powerful ways to shift what comes into your life.
5. Live in integrity.
When your actions align with your values, you emit clarity, confidence, and peace. That frequency has a ripple effect.
Final Thoughts: You Are the Signal
Ultimately, you are the signal. The energy you send out—your intentions, your openness, your boundaries, your truth—shapes what you call into your life. Not because the universe is rewarding you like a vending machine, but because your brain, your body, and your behavior are all part of an interconnected system. And the more you shift your internal world, the more your external world shifts too.
This isn’t about bypassing pain or pretending everything is okay. It’s about knowing that healing, self-worth, and emotional alignment have a magnetic quality.
You deserve to attract love, peace, and joy—not because you’ve earned it, but because you’ve become it.
— Linda C J Turner
Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment
