“It Was Never Me” — Reclaiming Sanity After Years of Gaslighting
By Linda C J Turner | Trauma Therapist, Survivor, Advocate
For years, I questioned my own sanity.
Not because I was unstable, or mentally unwell.
But because I was told I was.
Repeatedly. Intentionally. Cruelly.
👉 “You’re unhinged.”
👉 “No one will ever believe you.”
👉 “It’s your personality, your past—it’s always you.”
I was convinced that I must be the problem.
The chaos in the relationship.
The storm in the home.
The reason everything was wrong.
But now… after years of being seen, heard, and assessed by trained professionals—including court psychologists, trauma specialists, and long-term therapists in three different countries—I know the truth:
I am not crazy. I am not unstable. I am not an alcoholic. I am a survivor of long-term emotional abuse.
🧠 From a neuroscience perspective:
Long-term abuse changes the brain.
When you live under constant psychological threat—gaslighting, verbal attacks, manipulation—your brain shifts into survival mode. Your amygdala becomes hyperactive (the alarm bell of the brain), and your prefrontal cortex (where logic and decision-making live) can become overwhelmed and disconnected. This causes confusion, memory issues, emotional flooding, and self-doubt.
In this vulnerable state, if someone repeatedly tells you “you’re the problem”, your nervous system begins to internalize it as fact.
This is what we call gaslighting-induced trauma.
It’s not just emotional. It’s neurological.
It reprograms your belief system, attacks your identity, and rewires your self-perception.
🧠 From a psychological perspective:
When you are chronically invalidated, especially by someone close—like a partner or family member—it can lead to what’s known as C-PTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder). Victims often experience:
- A deep fear of being “too much” or “not enough”
- Feelings of shame and guilt with no clear cause
- Difficulty trusting their own memory or emotions
- Emotional numbness or emotional flooding
- Chronic anxiety and hypervigilance
This isn’t madness.
It’s trauma.
And trauma is treatable, especially when acknowledged early and supported properly.
🌿 The truth? I have emotional baggage—like everyone.
But I am not broken.
I am not dangerous.
I am not mentally ill.
I am a woman who has survived long-term psychological abuse.
And I’m healing faster than anyone expected—because I’ve been doing the work quietly for over five years.
Therapy. Reflection. Boundaries. Self-education. Choosing peace. Leaving toxic environments.
Piece by piece, I’ve been rebuilding myself.
🎯 And now, I have something I was once told I’d never have:
✔️ Validation from professionals.
✔️ Clarity in my mind.
✔️ Trust in myself.
✔️ Peace in my life.
To anyone doubting their sanity because someone convinced you that you’re the problem—please hear this:
Being abused doesn’t make you unstable.
It makes you human.
And healing is always possible.
You’re not too damaged.
You’re not making it up.
You’re not overreacting.
You’re waking up.
#EmotionalAbuseRecovery #NeuroscienceOfAbuse #NotUnhinged #ValidatedAndHealing #TraumaRecovery #GaslightingSurvivor #HealingIsHappening #LindaCJTurnerTherapy #YouAreNotTheProblem #ThisIsWhatHealingLooksLike
— Linda C J Turner
Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment
