“Thick Cow,” “Sh*t for Brains,” “75%”—When Verbal Abuse Becomes a War on the Mind
By Linda C J Turner | Trauma Therapist & Advocate
You weren’t being “too sensitive.”
You weren’t imagining it.
You were being verbally and psychologically assaulted, day after day—by someone who was supposed to protect you.
“Thick cow.”
“Sh*t for brains.”
“Your kids hate you.”
“You’re stupid. You’re 75% at best.”
These aren’t casual insults.
These are weapons—designed to annihilate your self-esteem, confuse your sense of reality, and reduce you to silence.
🧠 From a neuroscience perspective:
- Every time your brain hears these words, especially from someone close, it registers a threat. Your amygdala(the brain’s fear center) goes into fight, flight, or freeze mode.
- Over time, this chronic stress rewires your brain. You start to doubt yourself, walk on eggshells, and anticipate criticism—even when it’s not there.
- The hippocampus (responsible for memory and emotional regulation) begins to shrink under long-term abuse, impairing your ability to think clearly or stand up for yourself.
- Your nervous system becomes dysregulated. You’re not living—you’re surviving.
🧠 From a psychological perspective:
This kind of verbal abuse is often part of a larger pattern of coercive control—where one partner maintains dominance by systematically eroding the other’s self-worth.
- The name-calling isn’t random. It’s calculated cruelty.
- The repetition and timing are strategic: when you’re vulnerable, sad, or trying to connect, the abuse hits harder.
- There are no boundaries—not around your mind, your body, your children, or your pain.
This is the behavior of someone with narcissistic, sadistic, and controlling tendencies, not a loving partner.
He didn’t just insult you.
He tried to reprogram you—to believe that you were worthless, unlovable, broken.
💔 The impact?
You stop trusting your intuition.
You stop speaking up.
You stop dreaming.
You may even stop recognizing yourself.
But here’s what I want every survivor to know:
✨ You are not the names he called you.
✨ You are not 75%. You are 100% worthy of respect, safety, and love.
✨ His words were never truth. They were tools of domination.
If someone talks to you like this, it’s not a bad relationship. It’s abuse.
You deserve better than to be a punching bag for someone else’s unprocessed rage, insecurity, and cruelty.
Let’s call it what it is, so healing can finally begin.
#VerbalAbuseIsViolence #PsychologicalAbuse #CoerciveControl #NeuroscienceOfAbuse #NameCallingIsAbuse #EmotionalTrauma #YouDeserveKindness #LindaCJTurnerTherapy #SurvivorStrong #RealLoveDoesntHurt
— Linda C J Turner
Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment
