By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate
Strangulation is one of the most severe and intimate forms of violence, leaving scars that go far beyond the physical. I’ve experienced this first-hand, and the impact of such an attack is far-reaching, both in terms of immediate harm and long-term psychological consequences.
While the physical injuries caused by strangulation may eventually heal, the emotional and psychological toll often lingers long after the bruises fade. The sense of vulnerability, the fear, and the loss of control do not simply vanish. They stay with you, affecting your relationships, your professional life, and your overall well-being in ways that are often invisible to others.
The Physical Damage: Immediate Pain and Dangers
The immediate consequences of strangulation are often terrifying. The physical sensations are difficult to describe to someone who hasn’t experienced it. The pressure on your throat, the inability to breathe, and the overwhelming panic as your air supply is cut off—it’s an experience of pure helplessness. In many cases, strangulation can cause severe physical injury, including bruising, swelling, and, in extreme cases, damage to the windpipe or internal bleeding. The threat to your life is real, and the feeling of being at someone’s mercy is suffocating.
For me, the experience of strangulation wasn’t just about the immediate physical pain—it was the fear of being completely powerless, of knowing that someone held my life in their hands. I didn’t know if I would make it out alive.
The Psychological Toll: Lingering Trauma and Fear
But what many don’t understand about strangulation is that it’s not just the physical harm that leaves a mark; it’s the psychological damage that can take years to heal. The trauma of having your life threatened in such an intimate and violent way goes deep into your psyche.
A sense of suffocation beyond the physical: In the days, weeks, and months following an attack, I struggled with feelings of suffocation that went beyond the physical. Even when I was in a safe space, I found myself gasping for air as if I were still trapped in that moment. The fear that someone could take my life so easily became a permanent part of my mental landscape. It wasn’t just the anxiety of not being able to breathe; it was the fear of never feeling fully safe again.
Hypervigilance and constant fear: I became hyper-aware of my surroundings, always on guard, always scanning for any sign of danger. It was as though my mind was constantly replaying the trauma, and the threat of further violence was never far from my thoughts. Every loud noise, every unexpected touch, every raised voice sent a rush of panic through my body, reminding me of that moment when I was powerless.
A loss of trust in others: One of the most difficult consequences of strangulation is the erosion of trust. When someone can hurt you in such an intimate and violent way, it’s hard to trust anyone again. For me, every relationship became tainted by the memory of betrayal. I questioned the intentions of those around me, even when they had done nothing to harm me. The fear of being hurt again overshadowed every interaction, leaving me isolated and wary.
The Ripple Effect: Impacting My Relationships and Professional Life
The effects of strangulation are not confined to the victim. They ripple outward, touching all aspects of your life, from relationships to work and everything in between.
Relationship challenges: After experiencing strangulation, I found it incredibly difficult to trust my loved ones fully. I became distant, even with those who cared for me the most. The fear of vulnerability kept me from opening up, and the trauma often led to misunderstandings with people I loved and cared about. I wanted to push everyone away in an attempt to protect myself from future harm, but this only deepened my sense of isolation.
Difficulty in professional settings: The emotional scars of strangulation don’t stop when the workday starts. In professional settings, I often found it difficult to focus. The anxiety and hypervigilance I experienced made it hard to concentrate or maintain a sense of calm in stressful situations. Even small challenges felt overwhelming, as if I were constantly on the edge of breaking down. I became afraid to assert myself or speak up, fearing that my own voice might once again be silenced.
Struggles with self-worth and identity: The longer I lived with the trauma, the more it became clear that strangulation didn’t just affect my body—it attacked my sense of self. I began to feel broken, unworthy, and disconnected from who I once was. The violence of strangulation didn’t just take my breath away—it took pieces of my identity with it. It wasn’t until much later that I realized the depth of the impact it had on my view of myself.
Healing from Strangulation: Finding My Voice Again
Healing from the trauma of strangulation is not something that happens overnight. For me, it was a long and painful journey. It took time to rebuild my sense of safety and self-worth, and even longer to trust my instincts and my body again.
Here are some of the steps I took toward healing:
- Therapy: Working with a trauma-informed therapist was instrumental in my recovery. Through therapy, I was able to process the trauma in a safe space and learn coping mechanisms for managing the anxiety and fear that would often overwhelm me. Understanding that my reactions were normal responses to trauma helped me give myself permission to heal at my own pace.
- Building a support system: Surrounding myself with people who truly cared about me and who understood the complexities of my trauma helped me feel less alone. I learned to lean on my friends, family, and trusted professionals, letting their love and support remind me that I was worth the effort.
- Establishing boundaries: Learning to set boundaries with people, both personally and professionally, helped me reclaim my sense of control. This was a critical step in the healing process. I learned that my safety and well-being were my responsibility, and that I had the right to protect myself from further harm.
- Self-compassion and self-care: Healing also meant learning to be kind to myself. I gave myself permission to rest, to mourn, and to gradually rebuild my sense of self. Practicing self-compassion was one of the most powerful tools I had in my recovery.
In Conclusion: The Lasting Impact of Strangulation
Strangulation is one of the most intimate and devastating forms of violence. While the physical wounds may heal, the psychological scars remain for much longer. The fear, the loss of trust, and the deep sense of powerlessness can impact every area of life. For those who have experienced this kind of violence, know that you are not alone. Healing is a long journey, but it is possible. By acknowledging the depth of the trauma and seeking support, you can begin to rebuild your life and regain the sense of safety and self-worth that was taken from you.
If you are struggling with the trauma of strangulation or any form of violence, I encourage you to reach out for help. You deserve to heal, to feel safe, and to find peace once again.
— Linda C J Turner
Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment
