“You Matter Too: Why It’s Time to Prioritise Your Health After Abuse”
While you’ve been consumed with surviving—navigating the minefield of emotional manipulation, walking on eggshells, and bending yourself in every direction just to maintain some sense of peace at home—it’s likely you’ve put yourself last.
You’ve spent years pandering to your abuser’s moods, trying to avoid conflict, creating harmony where there was chaos, and holding everything together.
But now… it’s your turn.
And that starts with something deceptively simple, yet deeply profound: taking care of yourself.
When Survival Becomes the Focus, Self-Care Falls Away
In abusive environments, the nervous system is often in a state of constant alert—hypervigilance becomes your normal. Your body tightens, your breathing shallows, your digestion slows, your sleep becomes erratic. You go from one day to the next, putting out emotional fires, trying to keep the peace, hiding pain, managing damage, and sacrificing your own needs in the process.
During that time, doctor’s appointments get skipped.
Medical symptoms get ignored.
Mental health is put on the back burner.
Because survival becomes the only priority.
But you are no longer surviving—you are beginning to live again.
Reclaiming Your Body, Reclaiming Your Health
Now that you’re out of the toxic fog—or beginning to emerge—it’s time to turn inward and ask:
What has my body been trying to tell me all these years?
Long-term abuse and chronic stress don’t just affect the mind; they wreak havoc on the body too. You may be carrying the aftershocks of trauma in the form of:
- Chronic fatigue or unexplained pain
- Anxiety, depression, or panic attacks
- Digestive issues or loss of appetite
- Hormonal imbalances or menstrual irregularities
- Weakened immune system
- High blood pressure or heart problems
- Sleep disturbances
- Brain fog or memory issues
These aren’t just “in your head.” They’re legitimate physical responses to prolonged stress and trauma.
You deserve to have them seen. To be heard. To be healed.
Your Action Plan for Post-Abuse Health and Wellbeing
Here’s a gentle roadmap for beginning to care for yourself again—one loving step at a time:
1. Book a Full Medical Check-Up
Start with your GP. Let them know you’ve been through a long period of stress or abuse. Ask for a full blood panel and physical. Sometimes hidden deficiencies or conditions lie underneath the surface, masked by stress. Catching them early can be life-changing.
2. Reconnect with Your Mental Health
Find a trauma-informed therapist if you haven’t already. Whether you feel “fine” or not, regular check-ins can support your emotional processing, help you unpack years of gaslighting or control, and rebuild your sense of self. Your mind needs just as much tending as your body.
3. Make Time for Specialist Care
Have you been ignoring that persistent pain? That lump, that rash, that strange discomfort? You are worth investigating every little health concern you’ve pushed aside. Go to the dentist. See the gynecologist. Book that scan. It’s time.
4. Establish Gentle, Nourishing Routines
Think of small acts of care: warm baths, stretching, nourishing food, walking, resting. Healing doesn’t require grand gestures—it thrives in gentle, consistent kindness to yourself.
5. Listen to Your Body Without Shame
Your body might carry weight you gained under stress. It may be fatigued. It may feel foreign. That’s okay. It protected you. Now, it needs care, not criticism.
You Have Permission to Put Yourself First
You’ve given so much of yourself. You’ve endured what many can’t even imagine. Now is the time to reclaim your health, your wholeness, your peace.
Give yourself permission to rest.
Give yourself permission to heal.
Give yourself permission to be your own priority.
Because you matter.
Because your health matters.
Because you deserve a life that doesn’t hurt.
Final Thoughts
You are not selfish for putting yourself first now. You are not weak for needing care. You are not dramatic for wanting to be well. You are a survivor—and survivors need rest, nurturing, and space to become whole again.
Let this be your reminder:
Make that appointment. Take that test. Open up to your therapist. Rest when you need to. Nourish your body. You are allowed to take up space.
This is your time now. 🌿
