When an abuser’s own family shrugs off strangulation, covers it up, and even blames you, they are actively enabling the abuse and putting your life in further danger.
Why Do Families Defend Abusers?
- Denial & Image Protection – They don’t want to face the truth that someone they love is capable of extreme violence. Instead, they protect themselves from shame by dismissing the victim.
- Generational Toxicity – If abuse is normalized in the family, they may see it as “not a big deal” because they grew up around it.
- Control & Power – In some cases, families mirror the abuser’s behavior, trying to keep you silent because they fear exposure will affect their status, finances, or relationships.
- Fear of Losing Their Connection to the Abuser – They may worry that if they acknowledge his violence, it will force them to take action—and they don’t want to.
- Smear Campaigns Are a Classic Abuse Tactic – They know that if they discredit you first, fewer people will believe you if you speak out.
The Smear Campaign: Trying to Silence You
Once abusers (and their enablers) realize you are not staying silent, they often escalate to a full-blown smear campaign:
🚩 They Call You Crazy – Saying you’re overreacting, mentally unstable, or lying.
🚩 They Blame You for the Abuse – Claiming you “provoked” it, deserved it, or were the problem.
🚩 They Spread Lies – Trying to isolate you by turning mutual friends, family, or even your own children against you.
🚩 They Play the Victim – Painting themselves (or the abuser) as the one suffering while making you look like the villain.
🚩 They Use Guilt & Manipulation – Saying, “Think of his career, his children, the family name” to keep you quiet.
The Reality: If They’re Covering for Him, They Are Just as Dangerous
🔴 If they’re defending strangulation, they’re defending attempted murder.
🔴 If they’re attacking you instead of holding him accountable, they are part of the abuse.
🔴 If they’re lying to silence you, they know the truth—but don’t want it exposed.
How to Protect Yourself From Their Lies & Manipulation
✔ Go No Contact (If Possible) – You don’t owe abusers or their enablers any explanation or debate.
✔ Document Everything – Save texts, messages, and any threats or admissions of abuse.
✔ Control Your Own Narrative – Speak your truth on your terms, whether privately to trusted people or publicly if necessary.
✔ Find People Who Believe You – The right people will listen. You are not crazy, overreacting, or at fault.
✔ Stay Safe & Get Legal Support – If they escalate (harassment, threats, legal attacks), be ready to protect yourself.
Final Reality Check
A family that defends an abuser is showing you who they are. If they can excuse attempted murder, they do not care about your life.
Their lies do not change the truth.
Their attacks do not define you.
Their silence does not erase what happened.
🚨 Surround yourself with people who believe in your safety, not those who excuse your abuser. 🚨
And remember: Your voice is your power. Keep speaking. Keep surviving. Keep living. ❤️
