Abusers often employ isolation as one of their most powerful tactics. By convincing their victims to move to an isolated area, or even to another country, they can further cement their control, remove the victim from any external support systems, and reduce the likelihood of detection or intervention from outsiders. The further away the victim is from familiar environments—family, friends, or even cultural norms that might challenge or call attention to the abuse—the easier it becomes for the abuser to maintain their dominance without the scrutiny of others.

There are several reasons why abusers might push for isolation:

1. Eliminating External Influence: Isolation makes it much harder for the victim to seek help or even recognize that what they’re experiencing is abuse. When a victim is away from their familiar surroundings, they lose their sense of normalcy and are often dependent on the abuser for everything—social interaction, financial stability, and emotional support. In such an environment, the abuser can manipulate their victim into thinking they are alone in the world, and that no one will believe or help them.
2. Control Over the Victim’s Environment: Moving to a new location, especially one that’s unfamiliar or foreign, gives the abuser the opportunity to dictate every aspect of the victim’s life. They can control what information the victim has access to, who they can interact with, and what resources are available. The abuser may even set up situations where the victim is financially or socially dependent on them, further tightening the hold.
3. Less Likely to Be Suspected: If an abuser moves their victim to a new country or community where they’re out of the reach of close friends, family, and community members, they can carry out their abuse in relative secrecy. For example, in a foreign country, there may be fewer people who speak the same language as the victim, which can increase their sense of vulnerability and powerlessness. The abuser often knows that people will be less likely to ask questions about their relationship, as outsiders may assume the victim is simply adjusting to a new culture or lifestyle.
4. Emotional Manipulation and Control: Abusers often prey on the victim’s emotional vulnerabilities to convince them that such a move is necessary or for their own good. They might frame it as an opportunity to start fresh, to escape a bad situation, or to build a better future together. By presenting the move as a positive or even romantic gesture, they can mask the manipulative nature of the decision, making the victim more likely to agree.

This tactic is particularly dangerous because the isolation can make it even harder for the victim to see the abuse clearly, let alone take the necessary steps to escape it. It’s common for victims to feel trapped in such situations, not knowing how to reach out for help when they are physically or emotionally distanced from everyone they know.

For many, the psychological toll of being isolated in this way is immense. The abuser may use the victim’s loneliness and sense of displacement as a tool for further manipulation, convincing them that they are unworthy of support or that they can never go back to their previous life. This is especially true if the victim is in an unfamiliar culture or country where they are further alienated by language barriers, cultural differences, or lack of resources.

Escaping such a situation is difficult, but it’s important to remember that no one deserves to be isolated and abused, and there are always ways to get help, whether through embassies, local shelters, international hotlines, or legal resources for abuse victims. Even in the most isolated of circumstances, there are pathways to safety and support.

It’s a hard truth, but by recognizing these tactics, survivors can better understand how abusers manipulate their environment and begin to strategize ways to reclaim their freedom, sometimes with the help of others who understand these dynamics and can offer the support they need.