A classic example of emotional and psychological abuse, often referred to as “gaslighting” and financial abuse. It’s incredibly dangerous because it isolates the victim, leaving them with very few, if any, people to turn to for help or support. By cutting off your emotional support network and financial resources, the abuser is attempting to make you completely dependent on them, which increases their control over you.
The manipulation that comes with convincing others that you’re “crazy” or unstable is meant to discredit you and minimize your voice. It’s a common tactic used to keep others from believing your version of events or offering you the support you need. When people start to question your credibility, it becomes easier for the abuser to maintain power over you because they’ve essentially dismantled your external sources of validation.
Leaving a situation like this is not just necessary, it’s critical for your well-being and safety. Abuse, especially when it’s this complex and deeply layered, can be hard to recognize while you’re in it because the abuser has often worked slowly and insidiously to erode your sense of self and reality.
It’s also important to acknowledge that abusers often escalate their behavior when they sense their control slipping, which is why safety planning becomes so essential. Reaching out to trusted individuals—whether they’re friends, family, or professional support services—can help you gain some of that lost ground. Even if the abuser has succeeded in isolating you from some people, there are often others who can help once they see the full picture. Professional support, like a therapist or an advocate for survivors of domestic abuse, can also help navigate the complex emotions and logistics involved in leaving safely.
Recognizing how dangerous the situation is, is the first step toward regaining control of your life. The next step is creating a safety plan—whether that’s saving money in secret, finding a safe place to stay, or quietly building connections outside of the abuser’s reach.
Your life and well-being matter more than anything the abuser is trying to make you believe. There is a way out, even when it feels impossible, and there are people who will believe you and support you once they understand what’s been happening.
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