It’s not only unrealistic but deeply unfair to expect someone to offer help or support after being mistreated or abused, whether physically, emotionally, or mentally. Abuse erodes trust, creates profound emotional wounds, and leaves people feeling unsafe or devalued. The healing process from such trauma is complex and requires time, validation, and often professional help to address the underlying damage.
Abusers sometimes operate from a place of manipulation, expecting their behavior to be overlooked or minimized, hoping their victim will “forgive and forget” without taking responsibility for their actions. This expectation is part of the cycle of abuse, where the abuser exerts control and denies accountability. However, the person who was harmed has every right to set boundaries, demand respect, and choose not to engage with the abuser, especially if they haven’t shown any genuine remorse or commitment to change.
No one should feel pressured to accommodate or assist someone who has caused them harm, especially if there hasn’t been any accountability or efforts to rebuild trust. Healing from such experiences means prioritizing one’s own emotional well-being and safety, even if that means distancing from those who have inflicted harm.
It’s a hard but powerful truth: we are not obligated to help those who hurt us, especially when it compromises our own healing or sense of self.
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