Behaviour What it means What happens to the other person’s suffering? Example Ordinary cruelty Deliberately causing pain, humiliation or distress, or showing a serious disregard for another person’s suffering The suffering is known but disregarded Knowing someone is already distressed and deliberately saying something designed to hurt or humiliate them Bullying Repeated behaviour intended to intimidate,… Read More The important difference
Concept What it means Relationship to another person’s suffering Cruelty Deliberately causing or allowing suffering, pain, humiliation or distress The suffering is knowingly inflicted or disregarded Sadism Deriving gratification, pleasure or satisfaction from another person’s suffering or humiliation The suffering itself can become rewarding Moral disengagement Psychological processes that allow someone to harm or exploit… Read More Cruelty, sadism and moral disengagement are not the same thing
Sometimes it really is a difference in mindset. Some people value loyalty. Some people value convenience. Some people give generously. Some people take whatever they can get. Some people protect the people they love. Some people talk about them behind their backs. Some people bring peace into your life. Some people drain every ounce of… Read More Not Everyone Deserves Access to You
Sometimes you don’t fully understand what was missing from your previous relationship until you experience something completely different. You meet someone who doesn’t create theatre. They don’t need an audience. They don’t need to convince the world that they are loving. They simply are. The affection is there when nobody is watching. The respect is there… Read More And Then You Meet Someone Who Doesn’t Have to Perform Love
There is a particular kind of behaviour that can be deeply disturbing because what you see on the surface bears little resemblance to what is happening underneath. They smile at you. They tell you everything is fine. They may sit beside you, sleep beside you, share your home and accept your financial support — while… Read More The Two Faces of Betrayal: When the Public Image Is Nothing Like the Private Reality
There is a particular kind of behaviour that can be deeply unsettling because what you see on the surface bears little resemblance to what is happening underneath. They smile at you. They tell you everything is fine. They may sit beside you, sleep beside you, share your home, accept your money, depend upon you financially… Read More The Two Faces of Betrayal: When Someone Smiles at You While Working Against You
There comes a point in recovery when something begins to change. Not necessarily outside you. Inside you. You wake up and realise you are no longer waiting for something bad to happen. You walk into your home and feel peace. You make plans without worrying about someone else’s reaction. You spend money without being questioned.… Read More Life Is Different Now
Joy is contagious. But it cannot be forced. It arrives naturally. A moment of laughter.A beautiful morning.A kind word.Music that makes you want to dance.A spontaneous conversation.A new friendship.A feeling of freedom.The simple realisation that, somehow, you are happy again. After a period of prolonged stress, emotional abuse or control, the return of joy can feel… Read More Protect Your Joy: You Don’t Have to Explain Happiness
There may come a moment in recovery that you never expected. Something feels good. Not because you are trying to make it feel good. Not because you are telling yourself to be grateful. You simply notice that you are enjoying something again. A laugh comes naturally. Music touches you. You look forward to seeing someone. You… Read More When the Pleasure Returns: Remembering What Kindness Feels Like
The content discusses “ambiguous deprivation,” a concept describing subtle, often unnoticed emotional abuse where freedom, affection, and autonomy are gradually eroded without clear evidence. Survivors may struggle to recognize their experiences and are encouraged to reflect on lost confidence and identity. Healing involves reclaiming one’s voice and inherent freedom.… Read More Ambiguous Deprivation: The Abuse You Cannot Always Prove
